wn' on almost always, however, grew
fonder of me. There may be a slight and normal masochistic
tendency in most boys, and _perhaps_ the erogenic character of
the buttocks has something to do with the development of
affection. If so, I am inclined to regard it as normal and useful
rather than otherwise, for in my experience no undesirable result
was ever produced. But then, of course, there was no playing with
the business; that might, I am sure, in some cases be decidedly
injurious.

"One experience of my schoolmastering days is, I think, important
in its bearing upon general sexual psychology. I always noticed
that during the term I was specially free from 'wet dreams.' What
is noteworthy is this: During term there was never anything more
than a very partial sexual expression of any feeling of mine,
such expression indeed as was wholly inevitable. There was
therefore no actual loss of semen, and it seems clear that the
'wet dreams' were not due to mere physical pressure. The psychic
satisfaction of love in this case made the complete physical
expression less urgent. But it was a love of a distinctly tender
kind that was needed to keep the physical from obtruding. Of that
further experience has made me sure. I am, moreover, now
convinced that a _mutual_ uranian love will reach its best
results, both spiritual and physical, where there is complete
sexual expression.

"Of the character of the sexual dreams I have had, there is not
much to be said. During the period of masochistic tendency, they
were masochistic in character; otherwise they have been dreams
simply of the naked embrace. Usually there has been a
considerable element of ideal love in the dream. I have not more
than three times at most dreamed of intercourse with one of the
opposite sex. There was only in one case anything that I could
call actual emotion in such a dream. The other dreams have often
(not always) been dreams of real yearning, and not at all what I
should call merely sensual.

"In the course of time I wanted more freedom to do things in my
own way than could be obtained in a public school. I started a
school of my own. The work was for a good many years very happy.
I loved the boys, and they loved me. I was active, ardent, and
they made a chum of me. But people got into the way of sending me