ho are so
severe on kings, should be so complaisant to me."--"It is," said the
wily bard, "because I like the lion before his claws are grown."

II.--SOMETHING FOR DR. DARWIN.

SIR WATKIN WILLIAMS WYNNE talking to a friend about the antiquity of his
family, which he carried up to Noah, was told that he was a mere
mushroom of yesterday. "How so, pray?" said the baronet. "Why,"
continued the other, "when I was in Wales, a pedigree of a particular
family was shown to me: it filled five large skins of parchment, and
near the middle of it was a note in the margin: '_About this time the
world was created_.'"

III.--A BAD EXAMPLE.

A CERTAIN noble lord being in his early years much addicted to
dissipation, his mother advised him to take example by a gentleman,
whose food was herbs and his drink water. "What! madam," said he, "would
you have me to imitate a man who _eats like a beast, and drinks like a
fish_?"

IV.--A CONFIRMED INVALID.

A POOR woman, who had attended several confirmations, was at length
recognized by the bishop. "Pray, have I not seen you here before?" said
his lordship. "Yes," replied the woman, "I get me conform'd as often as
I can; they tell me it is _good for the rheumatis_."

V.--COMPARISONS ARE ODIOUS.

LORD CHANCELLOR HARDWICK'S bailiff, having been ordered by his lady to
procure a sow of a particular description, came one day into the
dining-room when full of company, proclaiming with a burst of joy he
could not suppress, "I have been at Royston fair, my lady, and I have
got a sow exactly of _your ladyship's size_."

VI.--AN INSCRIPTION ON INSCRIPTIONS.

THE following lines were written on seeing a farrago of rhymes that had
been scribbled with a diamond on the window of an inn:--

"Ye who on windows thus prolong your shames,
And to such arrant nonsense sign your names,
The diamond quit--with me the pencil take,
So shall _your shame_ but short duration make;
For lo, the housemaid comes, in dreadful pet,
With red right hand, and with a dishclout wet,
Dashes out all, nor leaves a wreck to tell
Who 't was that _wrote so ill!--and loved so well_!"

VII.--NO HARM DONE.

A MAN of sagacity, being informed of a serious quarrel between two of
his female relations, asked the persons if in their quarrels either had
called the other ugly? On receiving an answer in the negative, "O, then,
I shall soon make