on, the laird of Logan had been
taunted at a meeting at Ayr with want of a loyal spirit at Cumnock, as
at that place no volunteer corps had been raised to meet the coming
danger; Cumnock, it should be recollected, being on a high situation,
and ten or twelve miles from the coast. "What sort of people are you, up
at Cumnock?" said an Ayr gentleman; "you have not a single
volunteer!"--"Never you heed," says Logan, very quietly; "if the French
land at Ayr, there will soon be _plenty of volunteers up at Cumnock_."

CCXLV.--CLAW AND CLAW.

LORD ERSKINE and Dr. Parr, who were both remarkably conceited, were in
the habit of conversing together, and complimenting each other on their
respective abilities. On one of these occasions, Parr promised that he
would write Erskine's epitaph; to which the other replied, that "such an
intention on the doctor's part was almost a temptation to commit
suicide."

CCXLVI.--THE BISHOP AND HIS PORTMANTEAU.

THE other day, a certain bishop lost his portmanteau. The circumstance
has given rise to the following:--

I have lost my portmanteau--
"I pity your grief;"
It contained all my sermons--
"I pity the thief."

CCXLVII.--FORCE OF NATURE.

S----'S head appears to be placed in most accurate conformity with the
law of nature, in obedience to which that which is most _empty_ is
generally _uppermost_.

CCXLVIII.--BLOWING A NOSE.

SIR WILLIAM CHERE had a very long nose, and was playing at backgammon
with old General Brown. During this time, Sir William, who was a
snuff-taker, was continually using his snuff-box. Observing him leaning
continually over the table, and being at the same time in a very bad
humor with the game, the general said, "Sir William, blow your
nose!"--"Blow it _yourself_!" said Sir William; "'tis as near you as
me!"

CCXLIX.--TOO CIVIL.

MACKLIN one night sitting at the back of the front boxes, with a
gentleman of his acquaintance, an underbred lounger stood up immediately
before him, and covered the sight of the stage entirely from him.
Macklin patted him gently on the shoulder with his cane, and, with much
seeming civility, requested "that when he saw or heard anything that was
entertaining on the stage, to let him and the gentleman with him know of
it, as at present we must totally depend on _your kindness_." This had
the desired effect,--and the lounger walked off.

CCL.--TORY LIBE