d a
six-year-old at the foot of the class. "Where?" inquired old spectacles,
amused by his earnestness. "_On the elephant_!" was the reply.

CCXXXV.--MISER'S CHARITY.

AN illiterate person, who always volunteered to "go round with the hat,"
but was suspected of sparing his own pocket, overhearing once a hint to
that effect, replied, "Other gentlemen puts down what they thinks
proper, and so do I. Charity's a private concern, and what I give is
_nothing to nobody_."

CCXXXVI.--SHAKING HANDS.

AT a duel the parties discharged their pistols without effect, whereupon
one of the seconds interfered, and proposed that the combatants should
shake hands. To this the other second objected, as unnecessary,--"For,"
said he, "their hands have been _shaking_ this half-hour."

CCXXXVII.--MILTON ON WOMAN.

MILTON was asked by a friend whether he would instruct his daughters in
the different languages: to which he replied, "No, sir; one tongue is
sufficient for a woman."

CCXXXVIII.--EPIGRAM.

(On bank notes being made a legal tender.)

THE privilege _hard_ money to demand,
It seems but fair the public should surrender;
For I confess I ne'er could understand
Why cash called _hard_, should be a legal _tender_.

CCXXXIX.--A GOOD REASON.

"THAT'S a pretty bird, grandma," said a little boy. "Yes," replied the
old dame, "and _he_ never cries."--"That's because he's never washed,"
rejoined the youngster.

CCXL.--ON FARREN, THE ACTOR.

IF Farren, cleverest of men,
Should go to the right about,
What part of town will he be then?
Why, "Farren-done-without!"

CCXLI.--PADDY'S LOGIC.

"THE sun is all very well," said an Irishman, "but the moon is worth two
of it; for the moon affords us light in the night-time, when we _want
it_, whereas the sun's with us in the day-time, when we have _no
occasion for it_."

CCXLII.--WARNING TO LADIES.

BEWARE of falling in love with a pair of moustaches, till you have
ascertained whether their wearer is the original proprietor.

CCXLIII.--A MOT OF DE FOE.

WHEN Sir Richard Steele was made a member of the Commons, it was
expected from his writings that he would have been an admirable orator;
but not proving so, De Foe said, "He had better have continued the
_Spectator_ than the _Tatler_."

CCXLIV.--A FAIR REPULSE.

AT the time of the threatened invasi