ls, a gentleman
having taken great offence at some sarcastic observation she made,
intending to insult her, said, "You need not give yourself such airs,
madam; you know your grandfather was hanged."--To which she instantly
replied, "But not till he was _dead_."

CCCXVI.--KNOWING HIS PLACE.

AT a grand review by George III. of the Portsmouth fleet in 1789, there
was a boy who mounted the shrouds with so much agility as to surprise
every spectator. The king particularly noticed it, and said to Lord
Lothian, "Lothian, I have heard much of your agility; let us see you run
up after that boy."--"Sire," replied Lord Lothian, "it is my duty to
_follow your Majesty_."

CCCXVII.--AN ATTIC JEST.

SHERIDAN inquiring of his son what side of politics he should espouse on
his inauguration to St. Stephen's, the son replied, that he intended to
vote for those who offered best, and that he should wear on his forehead
a label, "To let."--"I suppose, Tom, you mean to add, _unfurnished_,"
rejoined the father.

CCCXVIII.--CUTTING ON BOTH SIDES.

LORD B----, who sported a ferocious pair of whiskers, meeting Mr.
O'Connell in Dublin, the latter said, "When do you mean to place your
whiskers on the _peace establishment_?"--"When you place your tongue on
the _civil list_!" was the rejoinder.

CCCXIX.--A READY RECKONER.

A MATHEMATICIAN being asked by a wag, "If a pig weighs 200 pounds, how
much will a great boar (_bore_?) weigh?" he replied, "Jump into the
scales, and I will _tell you immediately_."

CCCXX.--CATCHING HIM UP.

AN Irishman being asked which was oldest, he or his brother, "I am
eldest," said he, "but if my brother lives three years longer, we shall
be _both_ of an age."

CCCXXI.--A STOPPER.

A GENTLEMAN describing a person who often visited him for the sole
purpose of having a long gossip, called him Mr. Jones the _stay_-maker.

CCCXXII.--A BOOK CASE.

THERE is a celebrated reply of Mr. Curran to a remark of Lord Clare, who
curtly exclaimed at one of his legal positions, "O! if that be law, Mr.
Curran, I may burn my law-books!"--"Better _read_ them, my lord," was
the sarcastic and appropriate rejoinder.

CCCXXIII.--HINC ILLE LACHRYMAE.

"THE mortality among Byron's mistresses," said the late Lady A----ll,
"is really alarming. I think he generally buries, in verse, a first love
every fortnight."--"Madam," replied Curran, "mistresses a