S grows at our own firesides, and is not to be picked in
strangers' gardens.

CLXXXIV.--TRANSPOSING A COMPLIMENT.

IT was said of a work (which had been inspected by a severe critic), in
terms which at first appeared very flattering, "There is a great deal in
this book which is new, and a great deal that is true." So far good, the
author would think; but then came the negation: "But it unfortunately
happens, that those portions which are _new_ are not _true_, and those
which are _true_ are not _new_!"

CLXXXV.--A HANDSOME CONTRIBUTION.

A GENTLEMAN waited upon Jerrold one morning to enlist his sympathies in
behalf of a mutual friend, who was constantly in want of a round sum of
money.

"Well," said Jerrold, who had contributed on former occasions, "how much
does ---- want this time?"

"Why, just a four and two noughts will, I think, put him straight," the
bearer of the hat replied.

_Jerrold._--"Well, put me down for one of the noughts this time."

CLXXXVI.--WASTE OF TIME.

AN old man of ninety having recovered from a very dangerous illness, his
friends congratulated him, and encouraged him to get up. "Alas!" said he
to them, "it is hardly worth while to _dress_ myself again."

CLXXXVII.--SCOTCH SIMPLICITY.

AT Hawick, the people used to wear wooden clogs, which made a _clanking_
noise on the pavement. A dying old woman had some friends by her
bedside, who said to her, "Weel, Jenny, ye are gaun to Heeven, an' gin
you should see our folks, ye can tell them that we're a weel." To which
Jenny replied. "Weel, gin I shud see them I 'se tell them, but you manna
expect that I am to gang clank clanking through Heeven looking for your
folk."

CLXXXVIII.--TWOFOLD ILLUSTRATION.

SIR FLETCHER NORTON was noted for his want of courtesy. When pleading
before Lord Mansfield on some question of manorial right, he chanced
unfortunately to say, "My lord, I can illustrate the point in an instant
in my own person: I myself have two little manors." The judge
immediately interposed, with one of his blandest smiles, "We all _know_
it, Sir Fletcher."

CLXXXIX.--NAT LEE AND SIR ROGER L'ESTRANGE.

THE author of "Alexander the Great," whilst confined in a madhouse, was
visited by Sir Roger L'Estrange, of whose political abilities Lee
entertained no very high opinion. Upon the knight inquiring whether the
poet knew him, Lee answered:--

"Custom may alter men, and m