CXXIV.--FALSE QUANTITY.

A LEARNED counsel in the Exchequer spoke of a _nolle prosequi_.
"Consider, sir," said Baron Alderson, "that this is the last day of
term, and don't make things _unnecessarily long_."

CXXV.--IN SUSPENSE.

THE sloth, in its wild state, spends its life in trees, and never leaves
them but from force or accident. The eagle to the sky, the mole to the
ground, the sloth to the tree; but what is most extraordinary, he lives
not _upon_ the branches, but _under_ them. He moves suspended, rests
suspended, sleeps suspended, and passes his life in suspense,--like a
young clergyman _distantly related_ to a bishop.

CXXVI.--PORSON'S VISIT TO THE CONTINENT.

SOON after Professor Porson returned from a visit to the Continent, at a
party where he happened to be present, a gentleman solicited a sketch
of his journey. Porson immediately gave the following extemporaneous
one:

"I went to Frankfort and got drunk
With that most learned professor, Brunck;
I went to Worts and got more drunken
With that more learned professor, Ruhnken."

CXXVII.--ARTIFICIAL HEAT.

THE late Lord Kelly had a very red face. "Pray, my lord," said Foote to
him, "come and _look over_ my garden-wall,--my cucumbers are very
backward."

CXXVIII.--OUTWARD APPEARANCE.

MAN is a sort of tree which we are too apt to judge of by the bark.

CXXIX.--THE TWO SMITHS.

A GENTLEMAN, with the same Christian and surname, took lodgings in the
same house with James Smith. The consequence was, eternal confusion of
calls and letters. Indeed, the postman had no alternative but to share
the letters equally between the two. "This is intolerable, sir," said
our friend, "and you must quit."--"Why am I to quit more than
you?"--"Because you are James the Second--and must _abdicate_."

CXXX.--SAGE ADVICE.

THE advice given by an Irishman to his English friend, on introducing
him to a regular Tipperary row, was, "Wherever you see a head, _hit
it_."

CXXXI.--THE PURSER.

LADY HARDWICKE, the lady of the Chancellor, loved money as well as he
did, and what _he_ got _she_ saved. The purse in which the Great Seal is
carried is of very expensive embroidery, and was provided, during his
time, every year. Lady Hardwicke took care that it should not be
provided for the seal-bearer's profit, for she annually retained them
herself, having previously ordered that the velvet