--"OUT, BRIEF CANDLE."

A VERY small officer struck an old grenadier of his company for some
supposed fault in performing his evolutions. The grenadier gravely took
off his cap, and, holding it over the officer by the tip, said, "Sir, if
you were not my officer, I would _extinguish_ you."

CLII.--A.I.

A LEARNED barrister, quoting Latin verses to a brother "wig," who did
not appear to understand them, added, "Don't you know the lines? They
are in Martial."--"Marshall. Oh, yes; Marshall, who wrote on
underwriting."--"Not so bad," replied the other. "After all, there is
not so much difference between an _under writer_ and a _minor_ poet."

CLIII.--QUALIFYING FOR BAIL.

A GENTLEMAN once appeared in the Court of King's Bench to give bail in
the sum of 3,000l. Serjeant Davy, wanting to display his wit, said to
him, sternly, "And pray, sir, how do you make out that you are worth
3,000l.?" The gentleman stated the particulars of his property up to
2,940. "That's all very good," said the serjeant, "but you want 60l.
more to be worth 3,000."--"For that sum," replied the gentleman, in no
ways disconcerted, "I have a note of hand of one Mr. Serjeant Davy, and
I hope he will have the honesty soon to settle it." The serjeant looked
abashed, and Lord Mansfield observed, in his usual urbane tone, "Well,
brother Davy, I _think_ we may accept the bail."

CLIV.--BARRY'S POWERS OF PLEASING.

SPRANGER BARRY, to his silver-toned voice, added all the powers of
persuasion. A carpenter, to whom he owed some money for work at the
Dublin Theatre, called at Barry's house, and was very clamorous in
demanding payment. Mr. Barry overhearing him, said from above, "Don't be
in a passion; but do me the favor to walk upstairs, and we'll speak on
the business."--"Not I," answered the man; "you owe me one hundred
pounds already, and if you get me upstairs, you won't let me leave you
till you owe me _two_."

CLV.--EPIGRAM.

"IT is rumored that a certain Royal Duke has expressed a determination
never to shave until the Reform Bill is crushed entirely."--_Court
Journal_.

'Tis right that Cumberland should be
In this resolve so steady,
For all the world declare that he
Is _too bare-faced_ already!

CLVI.--SENTENCE OF DEATH.

THE following is a literal copy of a notice served by a worthy
inhabitant of Gravesend upon his neighbor, whose fowl had eaten his
pig's victuals.

"SIR,