CLXII.--THE PINK OF POLITENESS.

LORD BERKELEY was once dining with Lord Chesterfield (the pink of
politeness) and a large party, when it was usual to drink wine until
they were mellow. Berkeley had by accident shot one of his gamekeepers,
and Chesterfield, under the warmth of wine, said, "Pray, my Lord
Berkeley, how long is it since you shot a gamekeeper?"--"Not since you
hanged _your tutor_, my lord!" was the reply. You know that Lord
Chesterfield brought Dr. Dodd to trial, in consequence of which he was
hanged.

CLXIII.--HIGH AND LOW.

"I EXPECT six clergymen to dine with me on such a day," said a gentleman
to his butler. "Very good, sir," said the butler. "Are they High Church
or Low Church, sir?"--"What on earth can that signify to you?" asked the
astonished master. "Every thing, sir," was the reply. "If they are High
Church, they'll drink; if they are Low Church, _they'll eat_!"

CLXIV.--CITY LOVE.

IN making love let poor men sigh,
But love that's ready-made is better
For men of business;--so I,
If madam will be cruel, let her.
But should she wish that I should wait
And miss the 'Change,--oh no, I thank her,
I court by _deed_, or after _date_,
Through my solicitor or banker.

CLXV.--INGENIOUS REPLY OF A SOLDIER.

A SOLDIER in the army of the Duke of Marlborough took the name of that
general, who reprimanded him for it. "How am I to blame, general?" said
the soldier. "I have the choice of names; if I had known one more
illustrious _than yours_, I should have taken it."

CLXVI.--LORD CHESTERFIELD.

WHEN Lord Chesterfield was in administration, he proposed a person to
his late majesty as proper to fill a place of great trust, but which the
king himself was determined should be filled by another. The council,
however, resolved not to indulge the king, for fear of a dangerous
precedent, and it was Lord Chesterfield's business to present the grant
of office for the king's signature. Not to incense his majesty by asking
him abruptly, he, with accents of great humility, begged to know with
whose name his majesty would be pleased to have the blanks filled up.
"With the _devil's_!" replied the king, in a paroxysm of rage. "And
shall the instrument," said the Earl, coolly, "run as usual, _Our trusty
and well-beloved cousin and counsellor_?"--a repartee at which the king
laughed heartily, and with great good-humor signed the grant.