up the quarrel."

VIII.--BEARDING A BARBER.

A HIGHLANDER, who sold brooms, went into a barber's shop in Glasgow to
get shaved. The barber bought one of his brooms, and, after having
shaved him, asked the price of it. "Tippence," said the Highlander. "No,
no," says the shaver; "I'll give you a penny, and if that does not
satisfy you, take your broom again." The Highlander took it, and asked
what he had to pay. "A penny," says Strap. "I'll gie ye a baubee," says
Duncan, "and if that dinna satisfy ye, _pit on_ my beard again."

IX.--CHANGING HIS COAT.

A WEALTHY merchant of Fenchurch Street, lamenting to a confidential
friend that his daughter had eloped with one of his footmen, concluded,
by saying, "Yet I wish to forgive the girl, and receive her husband, as
it is now too late to part them. But then his condition; how can I
introduce him?"--"Nonsense," replied his companion; "introduce him as a
_Liveryman_ of the _city of London_. _What_ is more honorable?"

X.--GOOD ADVICE.

LADY ---- spoke to the butler to be saving of an excellent cask of small
beer, and asked him how it might be best preserved. "I know no method so
effectual, my lady," replied the butler, "as placing a barrel of _good_
ale by it."

XI.--NEW RELATIONSHIP.

A STRANGER to law courts hearing a judge call a sergeant "brother,"
expressed his surprise. "Oh," said one present, "they are
brothers--_brothers-in-law_."

XII.--A SMALL INHERITANCE.

IT was the habit of Lord Eldon, when Attorney-General, to close his
speeches with some remarks justifying his own character. At the trial of
Horne Tooke, speaking of his own reputation, he said: "It is the little
inheritance I have to leave my children, and, by God's help, I will
leave it unimpaired." Here he shed tears; and, to the astonishment of
those present, Mitford, the Solicitor-General, began to weep. "Just look
at Mitford," said a by-stander to Horne Tooke; "what on earth is he
crying for?" Tooke replied, "He is crying to think what a _small_
inheritance Eldon's children are likely to get."

XIII.--A DIFFERENCE.

JERROLD one day met a Scotch gentleman, whose name was Leitch, and who
explained that he was not the popular caricaturist, John Leech. "I'm
aware of that; you're the Scotchman with the _i-t-c-h_ in your name,"
said Jerrold.

XIV.--THE LIGHT SUBJECT.

THE government, having threatened to proceed rigorously agains