AP CURE.

"PRAY, Mr. Abernethy, what is the cure for gout?" asked an indolent and
luxurious citizen. "Live upon sixpence a day, and _earn it_!" was the
pithy answer.

LXXV.--EPIGRAM.

YOU say, without reward or fee,
Your uncle cur'd me of a dang'rous ill;
I say he never did prescribe for me,
The proof is plain,--_I'm living still_.

LXXVI.--A GRAMMATICAL DISTINCTION.

SEVERAL young gentlemen once got up a play at Cambridge. On the day of
representation one of the performers took it into his head to make an
excuse, and his part was obliged to be read. Hobhouse came forward to
apologize to the audience, and told them that _a_ Mr. ---- had declined
to perform his part. The gentleman was highly indignant at the "_a_,"
and had a great inclination to pick a quarrel with Scrope Davies, who
replied that he supposed Mr. ---- wanted to be called _the_ Mr.
So-and-so. He ever afterwards went by the name of the "_Definite
Article_."

LXXVII.--A BANKER'S CHECK.

ROGERS, when a certain M.P., in a review of his poems, said "he wrote
very well for a banker," wrote, in return, the following:--

"They say he has no heart, and I deny it:
He has a heart, and--_gets his speeches by it_."

LXXVIII.--A FILLIP FOR HIM.

THE present Lord Chancellor remarked of a young barrister who had just
made a speech of more poetry than law, "Poor young man, he has studied
the _wrong Phillips_."

LXXIX.--BLACK OILS.

"WHAT'S the matter?" inquired a passer-by, observing a crowd collected
around a black fellow, whom an officer was attempting to secure, to put
on board an outward-bound whale ship, from which he had deserted.
"Matter! matter enough," exclaimed the delinquent, "pressing a poor
negro _to get oil_."

LXXX.--A BAD CROP.

A SEEDSMAN being lately held to bail for using inflammatory language
respecting the Reform Bill, a wag observed, it was probably in the line
of his profession--to promote business, he wished to _sow sedition_.

LXXXI.--A GRAVE DOCTOR.

COUNSELLOR CRIPS being on a party at Castle-Martyr, one of the company,
a physician, strolled out before dinner into the churchyard. Dinner
being served, and the doctor not returned, some one expressed his
surprise where he could be gone to. "Oh," says the counsellor, "he is
but just stept out to pay a visit to some of his _old patients_."

LXXXII.--WASTE POWDER.

DR. J