ONE of the wooden _mitres_, carved by Grinly Gibbons over a prebend's
stall in the cathedral church of Canterbury, happening to become loose,
Jessy White, the surveyor of that edifice, inquired of the dean whether
he should make it fast: "For, perhaps," said Jessy, "it may fall on your
reverence's head."--"Well! Jessy," answered the humorous Cantab,
"suppose it does fall on my head, I don't know that _a mitre falling on
my head_ would hurt it."

CIV.--FALSE DELICACY.

A PERSON, disputing with Peter Pindar, said, in great heat, that he did
not like to be thought a scoundrel. "I wish," replied Peter, "that you
had as great a dislike _to being a scoundrel_."

CV.--A BAD HARVEST.

THERE was much sound palpable argument in the speech of a country lad to
an idler, who boasted his ancient family: "So much the worse for you,"
said the peasant; "as we ploughmen say, '_the older the seed the worse
the crop_.'"

CVI.--PROOF IMPRESSION.

MR. BETHEL, an Irish barrister, when the question of the Union was in
debate, like all the junior barristers published pamphlets upon the
subject. Mr. Lysaght met this pamphleteer in the hall of the Four
Courts, and in a friendly way, said, "Zounds! Bethel, I wonder you never
told me you had published a pamphlet on the Union. The one I saw
contained some of the best things I have yet seen in any pamphlet upon
the subject."--"I'm very proud you think so," said the other, rubbing
his hands with satisfaction; "and pray, what are the things that pleased
you so much?"--"Why," replied Lysaght, "as I passed by a pastry-cook's
shop this morning, I saw a girl come out with three _hot mince-pies_
wrapped up in one of your works."

CVII.--NECK OR NOTHING.

A RIGHT reverend prelate, himself a man of extreme good-nature, was
frequently much vexed in the spirit by the proud, froward, perverse, and
untractable temper of his next vicar. The latter, after an absence much
longer than usual, one day paid a visit to the bishop, who kindly
inquired the cause of his absence, and was answered by the vicar, that
he had been confined to his house for some time past by an obstinate
_stiffness_ in his _knee_. "I am glad of that," replied the prelate;
"'tis a good symptom that the disorder has changed place, for I had a
long time thought it _immovably settled_ in your NECK."

CVIII.--ARCADIA.

A FARM was lately advertised in a newspaper, in which all the beauty