to such as can afford to
_pay for their entertainment_."

LV.--AN EXTINGUISHER.

WHILE Commodore Anson's ship, the Centurion, was engaged in close fight,
with the rich Spanish galleon, which he afterwards took, a sailor came
running to him, and cried out, "Sir, our ship is on fire very near the
powder magazine."--"Then pray, friend," said the commodore, not in the
least degree discomposed, "_run back and assist in putting it out_."

LVI.--A BAD SHOT.

A COCKNEY being out one day amusing himself with shooting, happened to
fire through a hedge, on the other side of which was a man standing. The
shot passed through the man's hat, but missed the bird. "Did you fire at
me, sir?" he hastily asked. "O! no, sir," said the shrewd sportsman, "I
_never hit_ what I fire at."

LVII.--WISE PRECAUTION.

IT is related of the great Dr. Clarke, that when in one of his leisure
hours he was unbending himself with a few friends in the most playful
and frolicsome manner, he observed Beau Nash approaching; upon which he
suddenly stopped: "My boys," said he, "let us be _grave_: here comes a
_fool_."

LVIII.--A TRUMP CARD.

AT one of the Holland-house Sunday dinner-parties, a year or two ago,
Crockford's Club, then forming, was talked of; and the noble hostess
observed, that the female passion for diamonds was surely less ruinous
than the rage for play among men. "In short, you think," said Mr.
Rogers, "that _clubs_ are worse than _diamonds_." This joke excited a
laugh; and when it had subsided, Sydney Smith wrote the following
_impromptu_ sermonet--most appropriately _on a card_:--

Thoughtless that "all that's brightest fades,"
Unmindful of that _Knave of Spades_,
The Sexton and his Subs:
How foolishly we play our parts!
Our _wives_ on _diamonds_ set their _hearts_,
_We_ set our _hearts_ on _clubs_!

LIX.--MISTAKEN IDENTITY.

A PHYSICIAN attending a lady several times, had received a couple of
guineas each visit; at last, when he was going away, she gave him but
one; at which he was surprised, and looking on the floor, "I believe,
madam," said he, "I have _dropt a guinea_."--"No, sir," replied the
lady, "it is I that have _dropt it_."

LX.--ALONE IN HIS GLORY.

A FACETIOUS fellow having unwittingly offended a conceited puppy, the
latter told him he was no "gentleman."--"Are _you_ a gentleman?" asked
the droll one. "Yes, sir," bounced the