arged
by Gaius Caesar, son to Germanicus, that he was privy to the conspiracy
made against him, answered: 'If I had been made acquainted with it, thou
shouldest never have known of it.'[94] Neither hath sorrow so dulled my
wits in this matter that I complain of the wicked endeavours of sinful
men against virtue, but I exceedingly marvel to see that they have
brought to pass the things they hoped to do. For the desire of doing
evil may be attributed to our weakness, but that in the sight of God the
wicked should be able to compass whatsoever they contrive against the
innocent, is altogether monstrous. Whence not without cause one of thy
familiar friends[95] demanded: 'If,' saith he, 'there be a God, from
whence proceed so many evils? And if there be no God, from whence cometh
any good?' But let that pass that wicked men, which seek the blood of
all good men, and of the whole Senate, would also have overthrown me,
whom they saw to stand in defence of good men and of the Senate. But did
I deserve the same of the Senators themselves? I suppose thou
rememberest how thou being present didst alway direct me when I went
about to say or do anything. Thou rememberest, I say, when at Verona the
King, being desirous of a common overthrow, endeavoured to lay the
treason, whereof only Albinus was accused, upon the whole order of the
Senate, with how great security of my own danger I defended the
innocency of the whole Senate. Thou knowest that these things which I
say are true, and that I was never delighted in my own praise, for the
secret of a good conscience is in some sort diminished when by declaring
what he hath done a man receiveth the reward of fame. But thou seest to
what pass my innocency is come; instead of the rewards of true virtue, I
undergo the punishment of wickedness, wherewith I am falsely charged.
Was it ever yet seen that the manifest confession of any crime made the
judges so at one in severity, that either the error of man's judgment or
the condition of fortune, which is certain to none, did not incline some
of them to favour? If I had been accused that I would have burnt the
churches, or wickedly have killed the priests, or have sought the death
of all good men, yet sentence should have been pronounced against me
present, having confessed, and being convicted. Now being conveyed five
hundred miles off, dumb and defenceless, I am condemned to death