96

XII. POTASH AND PERLMUTTER DISCUSS HOW TO
PUT THE SPURT IN THE EXPERT 106

XIII. POTASH AND PERLMUTTER ON BEING AN OPTICIAN
AND LOOKING ON THE BRIGHT SIDE 115

XIV. THE LIQUOR QUESTION--SHALL IT BE DRY
OR EXTRA DRY? 124

XV. POTASH AND PERLMUTTER ON PEACE WITH
VICTORY AND WITHOUT BROKERS, EITHER 133

XVI. POTASH AND PERLMUTTER ON KEEPING IT
DARK 142

XVII. POTASH AND PERLMUTTER ON THE PEACE PROGRAM,
INCLUDING THE ADDED EXTRA FEATURE
AND THE SUPPER TURN 151

XVIII. POTASH AND PERLMUTTER ON THE NEW NATIONAL
HOLIDAYS 160

XIX. MR. WILSON: THAT'S ALL 169

XX. POTASH AND PERLMUTTER DISCUSS THE GRAND-OPERA
BUSINESS 177

XXI. POTASH AND PERLMUTTER DISCUSS THE MAGAZINE
IN WAR-TIMES 186

XXII. POTASH AND PERLMUTTER ON SAVING DAYLIGHT,
COAL, AND BREATH 195

XXIII. POTASH AND PERLMUTTER DISCUSS WHY IS A
PLAY-GOER? 204

XXIV. POTASH AND PERLMUTTER DISCUSS SOCIETY--NEW
YORK, HUMAN, AND AMERICAN 213

XXV. POTASH AND PERLMUTTER DISCUSS THIS HERE
INCOME TAX 222

ILLUSTRATIONS

"And the only kick they've got, Mawruss," Abe
said, "is that President Wilson won't expose
his hand, which, if he did, he might
just so well throw the game to Germany
and be done with it." _Frontispiece_

"I bet yer over half a czar's morning mail already
is circulars from casket concerns
alone, Abe." _Facing p._ 2

"'So,' Mrs. Hoover says, 'you had one of them
sixty-cent table-d'hote lunches to-day again,
and now of course you 'ain't got no appetite.
How many times did I tell you you
shouldn't eat that poison?'" " 50

"Perhaps it's because this here Lord Ge