and months when this here Dr. Heinrich
Albert, Captain von Papen and his boy Ed got as much newspaper publicity
as one of them rotten shows which received such a good notice from the
cricket of the _Cloak and Suit Gazette_ that the manager thinks it may
have a chance, y'understand. Why, there wasn't a district messenger-boy
which couldn't direct you to number Eleven Broadway, where that secret
service had its head offices, and I would be very much surprised if they
didn't ship their bombs from number Eleven Broadway, to the steamboat
docks in covered automobile delivery-wagons with signs painted on 'em:

Telephone Battery 2222

GERMAN SECRET SERVICE
'WE LEAD--OTHERS FOLLOW'
11 Broadway

Ask about our Special Service plan
for furnishing explosives by the month

AT LOW RATES."

"At the same time, Abe," Morris remarked, "the Germans make things
pretty secret when they want to, otherwise how could the Kaiser have
kept that mutiny under his chest for over a couple of months?"

"And you could take it from me, Mawruss," Abe said, "before Michaelis
let it out in the Reichstag, he might just so well have stopped in at
the _Lokal Anzeiger_ office on his way down-town and inserted a couple
of lines or so under the head of 'Situations Wanted Males.'"

"Why, I thought you said a Prime Minister never gets fired," Morris
said.

"Prime Ministers is one thing and Chancellors another, Mawruss," Abe
told him.

"Then I imagine this here Michaelis must be putting in a lot of time
nowadays going over his contract to see if he's got any come-back
against the party of the first part in case that crook fires him,"
Morris said.

"Well, he can keep on looking till he finds another job," Abe replied,
"because the Kaiser is like a lot of other highwaymen in the cutting-up
trade, Mawruss. To them fellers the first and most important thing about
a contract is the loopholes, y'understand, and after that's fixed they
don't care what goes into it, which you take that contract of
Michaelis's and I bet yer that a police-court lawyer could drive an
armored tank through them paragraphs which is supposed to hold the
Kaiser, y'understand, whereas if _Michaelis_ wanted to get out of it,
Mawruss, he could go to work and hire Messrs. Hughes, Brandeis,
Stanchfield, Hughes & Stanchfield, supposing there was _Gott soll huten_
such a firm of lawyers, and they wouldn't be able to find so much as a
comma out of place for him."

"A