tised art comes under the head of
merchandise, and I ain't so sure that the artist who advertises ain't
just as much of a business man as we would say, for example, a
fish-dealer."

"Well, there's one thing about this here trouble with the Boston
Symphony Orchestra, Mawruss," Abe said: "it has put Boston on the map
for a few days, which the way New York people is acting about electing a
mayor in New York City, y'understand, you would think that New York,
England, France, and Italy was fighting Germany and Austria, and that if
the mayor of New York said so, the war would go on or stop, as the case
might be, and otherwise not."

"You couldn't blame New York at that," Morris said. "People out in
Seattle which has never been no nearer New York as Fall City, Wash., or
Snoqualmie, goes round singing 'Take Me Back to New York Town' _oder_
'Give My Regards to Broadway,' and young ladies living in Saint Louis,
which is a good-sized city, y'understand, reads in a magazine printed in
Chicago--_also_ a good-sized city--story after story which has got to do
with a wealthy New York clubman, or a poor New York working-girl, or a
beautiful New York actress, while the advertising section has got
pictures by the hundreds of automobiles, ready-made clothing, vacuum
cleaners, beds and bedding, health underwear, and cash-registers, and
all of them are fixed up with the Grand Central Depot across the street
or the Public Library showing through a window or, anyhow, the Flatiron
Building and Madison Square Garden not half a column away, y'understand.
Also there is a New York store in every village and a New York letter in
every newspaper, and one way or another you would think that the whole
United States was trying to prove to New York that it was as important
as New York has for a long time already suspected."

"Well, ain't it?" Abe asked.

"It couldn't be," Morris replied. "Take, for instance, this here
election for mayor, and the way the New York papers talked about it you
would think the Kaiser says to Hindenberg: 'Listen, Max, don't ship no
more soldiers nowheres till we hear how things are breaking for
Hillkowitz in New York,' or maybe he said Mitchel or Hylan--you couldn't
tell, and Hindenberg says, 'But I understand Mitchel is pretty strong up
in the Twenty-third Assembly District in certain parts of the Bronix, so
I think, Chief, it might be a good idea to have a couple of dozen
divisions of artillery sent to Dvinsk and Riga.' B