hey kill little
children, they're, anyhow, foreign children and not German children."

"I suppose a lot of them soap-box orators gets paid by the German
government for boosting the Germans the way you just done it, Abe,"
Morris commented, "which I see that this here Ridder of the _New Yorker
Staats-Zeitung_ gives it out that any one what accuses him that he is
getting paid by the German government for boosting the Kaiser in his
paper would got to stand a suit for liable, because he is too patriotic
an American sitson to print articles boosting the Kaiser except as a
matter of friendship and free of charge--outside of what he can make by
syndicating them to other German newspapers."

"But do them other German newspapers get paid by the German government
for reprinting Mr. Ridder's articles?" Abe asked.

"_That_ Mr. Ridder don't say," Morris replied.

"Well," Abe continued, "_somebody_ should ought to appreciate the way
them German newspapers love the Kaiser, even if it's only a United
States District Attorney, Mawruss, because you take it if the shoe
pinched on the other foot, and a feller by the name Jefferson W. Rider
was running an American newspaper in Berlin, Germany, by the name, we
would say, for example, the _Berlin_, _Germany_, _Star-Gazette_, which
is heart and soul for Germany and at the same time prints articles by
American military experts showing how Germany couldn't win the war, not
in a million years, and the sooner the German soldiers realize it the
quicker they wouldn't get killed for such a hopeless _Geschaft_,
y'understand. Also, nobody has a greater admiration for the Kaiser than
the _Berlin_, _Germany_, _Star-Gazette_, understand me, but that if the
Kaiser thinks President Wilson is a tyrant, y'understand, then all the
_Star-Gazette_ has got to say is, some day when the Kaiser is fixing the
ends of his mustache in front of the glass mit candlegrease or whatever
such _Chamorrim_ uses on their mustaches to make themselves look like
kaisers, y'understand, that the Kaiser should take another look in the
mirror and he would see there such a cutthroat tyrant which President
Wilson never dreamed of being in Princeton University to the
shipping-clerk, even. Also this here _Berlin_, _Germany_, _Star-Gazette_
says that Germany is the land of bluff and that--"

"One moment," Morris Perlmutter interrupted. "What are you trying to
tell me--that such a newspaper would be allowed to exist in Berlin,
Germany?"