MARKS 117

INDEX 121

{13}

THE ETIQUETTE OF ENGAGEMENT AND MARRIAGE

INTRODUCTORY REMARKS

The word _Courtship_ has an old-world sound about it, and carries the
mind back to the statelier manners of bygone days. Nowadays we have no
leisure for courtly greetings and elaborately-turned compliments. We
are slackening many of the old bonds, breaking down some of the old
restraint, and, though it will seem treason to members of a past
generation to say it, we are, let us hope, arriving at a less
artificial state of things.

During the march of civilisation Marriage and the circumstances that
lead up to it have undergone many and wonderful changes, though the
deep-seated fundamental idea of having a mate has remained unaltered
in essence.

Just as the savage of to-day steals or fights for his dusky bride, so
did our own rude forefathers of past ages look to rapine and the sword
as the natural means of procuring the mate who was to minister to
their joys and necessities.

As the Chinese girl of the twentieth century is bought by her husband
like a piece of furniture or a cooking utensil, so the child bride of
ancient Rome used to take a formal farewell of her dolls and
playthings, making a solemn offering of them to the Gods, before she
was sold to the husband who was legally entitled to beat her if he
liked, she being nothing but his slave in the eyes of the law.

We have travelled far since then, and it would be impossible even to
touch upon the main points of development that have {14} placed
Engagement and Marriage upon their present footing amongst us. It is
to be noted that no two countries have moved quite side by side in this
matter. We find the written and unwritten laws which regulate the conduct
of man to woman different to some extent in every land, and what would be
an act of courtesy in one country would be regarded as a serious breach
of etiquette in another.

No one has made a clean sweep of all the old formalities; there are
still certain things which may and may not be done; and it is for this
reason that a few hints on this ever new, ever-engrossing subject of
Courtship and Marriage may be found helpful to those who are
contemplating the most important step in the life of man or woman.

We are very free and easy now in England, though not quite as
unconventional as they are on the other side of the Atlantic. We have
abolished a great many of the false barriers erected by Mrs