.

{49}

When She May Take the Initiative.

Old-fashioned folk say "Never." An American writer, who calls himself
"A Speculative Bachelor," has quite another idea on the subject. He
asks: "Shall Girls Propose?" "Why is it that in the matter of
initiative a coarse, unattractive young man should have the privilege
to ask any unmarried woman in the whole world to marry him, while his
refined and much more accomplished sister must make no motion towards
any choice of her own except to sit still and wait for some other
girl's mediocre brother to make a proposal to her?"

He goes on to suggest that the practice is a survival of Asiatic
barbarism. While there is no denying the truth of the above picture,
it does go against the grain to think of a woman asking a man to marry
her. We know that ladies of queenly rank have to do it, and lose no
dignity thereby; but we are not all anxious to be royal. There is
something repellent in the idea of a direct offer of marriage coming
from a woman's lips. Indirectly, however, she may do much to further
her own happiness.

When She May Help.

A lady of high rank may take the initiative in breaking down the
barrier of social inequality which she sees is standing between her
and her lover, for a man who would be held back by such a
consideration would be worth bending to. The very wealthy woman, who
is so often wooed for her banking account, yet is well worthy to be
loved for herself, may see with secret joy that only his comparative
poverty is holding back the man of her choice, and she lets love melt
the golden barrier that is keeping them apart. The woman whose heart
has gone out to one physically handicapped in the race with his
fellows; who knows that were he as other men he would woo her with the
love he is now too noble to express, surely she may take the
initiative, and only gain in womanly sweetness by so doing? The woman
who realises that the assurance of her love and faith will impel the
man to more strenuous effort, and make his working and waiting {50}
brighter for the goal that lies beyond, may be forgiven if in her
intense sympathy she betray somewhat of her desire to crown his
success.

A Warning.

There must be no mistake made. The wish must not be father to the
thought. She must be sure that she is beloved and desired. She must
throw out the most delicate feelers, so sensitive that they will at
once detect coldness, and withdraw into the shell of her reser