g people
have it more their own way. When parents object to a lover on the mere
ground of his poverty, or some personal prejudice, a girl may be
excused for making her own choice when she is of age. If she binds
herself secretly to a man whose moral unfitness is objected to, she is
courting certain misery and possible disgrace.

{63}

A Justifiable Case.

It would seem, then, that where parental consent is refused on the
ground of advisability, not of vital principle, the girl is justified
in holding herself bound till such time as she is free to give her
hand in marriage. She will use this bond as a defence against other
suitors who may be urged upon her. She will not flaunt her decision in
the parental face, nor cause ructions by tactlessly obtruding the bone
of contention; but she will be firm and loyal, true to herself and to
him she loves.

Where the Mother Shares the Secret.

Where the father is somewhat of a Spartan there is not unfrequently a
gentle, sympathetic mother, who will dare much to make her child
happy. The daughter is well advised to make such a mother her
confidante. A woman who schemes to entangle a young man of wealth or
high rank into a secret engagement with her daughter, who she knows is
no suitable wife for him, is neither honest to him nor kind to her
child. Such unequal marriages seldom answer in real life. There must
be sympathy, and a certain community of interests to make marriage a
success.

Friends who act as Go-Between.

There is a spice of romance in helping distressed and persecuted
lovers; but young people should be very careful not to mix themselves
up in such matters. Their own experience is too limited to qualify
them for the task. Older friends must take the consequences of such
interference. Sometimes their help is most ill-advised; still, for a
time at least, the lovers will be intensely grateful to them. There is
one thing that seems quite unjustifiable, and that is for a secretly
engaged pair to make a friend's house their rendezvous without telling
the friend exactly how matters stand. It is an abuse of hospitality,
for it is pretty sure to bring unpleasantness to the friend, who will
inevitably be blamed by the parents when the secret leaks out, or an
elopement takes {64} place. Trains, telephones, and telegraphs have robbed
the latter episode of all its old-world reckless charm, and it really
seems hardly worth the doing.

In some cases a married friend m