e has some definite prospect in view, or unless he is fully
determined to do his best to further his own interests. No girl or
woman should be expected to waste her youth and wear out her heart as
the promised wife of a man who is not trying to make their marriage
possible. Above all, no man should be mean enough to take money from
the one to whom he is engaged merely to indulge his own idleness.

A year or eighteen months may be taken as a fair time for the
engagement of those who have known but little of each other
beforehand. In the case of long intimacy six months will probably
suffice. A girl exposes herself to much unpleasant criticism by urging
on a hasty marriage. Even if she feels impatient, she should let that
sort of thing come from the man. If he lets the time drag on with
seeming {62} indifference or satisfaction, she should ask one of her
parents to speak to him on the subject, and if she guesses that he has
no real desire to marry her, she had far better give him up altogether
than urge him to take the step unwillingly.

Broken Engagements.

It sometimes happens that during this period of courtship either the
man or the woman realises that a mistake has been made; if so, let it
be rectified before a still more serious one be committed. It is a
delicate matter for a man to take the initiative. No woman should
drive him to do so. Let her make him a present of his freedom before
he has to ask for it. It is due to a man's self-respect to break
with a woman who openly and wantonly disregards his wishes on any
important point. In the same way if a man will not give up bad
habits, such as gambling, intemperance, or whatever it may be, for
the sake of the girl he is engaged to, she may be pretty sure that
he will not do it when she is his wife. Let him choose between her
and his vices.

Once the engagement is at an end the ring and other presents should be
sent back, unless by special mutual arrangement to the contrary.
Letters are either burnt or returned to the writer. There is a good
deal of sentiment about these written proofs of a love that has proved
a failure, on one side at least. The two who have been so nearly one
now become mere acquaintances again in the eyes of the world, and will
probably not be anxious to meet for some time to come.

Clandestine Engagement.

The obstacle to true love in former days was parental authority, which
often savoured of tyranny. In these days of liberty the youn