ay intervene to prevent any scandal
from touching the wilful bride. If the young folks will not listen to
reason, it is as well for their folly to be carried out as respectably
as possible; but all such sympathy should be tempered by judgment, for
the making or marring of two lives is in the balance, and the
happiness of many hearts may be at stake.
{65}
CHAPTER XI
_Foreign Etiquette of Engagements--Betrothal a much more Serious Matter
than in England._
In no other country is an engagement so informal as in England. We
find all sorts of ceremonies connected with the plighting of a troth
which seems but little less important than the tying of the marriage
knot itself. There is less spontaneity and exercise of private
judgment on the part of the young people; in fact, there are several
countries in which they are allowed no voice in the matter.
In Italy
girls are kept quite in the background, and have a very dull time.
This makes them ready to accept any suitor their parents may choose. A
meeting is arranged between the young people, and after that he pays
stiff visits to her home, generally in the evening, but they are never
left alone together, and he is not allowed to pay her any marked
attention even before others. They may exchange photographs, and she
may work him a little present; but it is all lifeless, passionless,
and business-like. Among the peasantry there is more of the
picturesque, and many quaint customs still survive. Marriage-brokers
do a good trade, and get a percentage on each pair that they see
through the ordeal of a wedding. In Frascati, parents with
marriageable sons and daughters assemble on Sunday afternoons in the
chief piazza. The men sit on one side and the women on the other. In
the intervening space the candidates for matrimony walk about--the
girls near their mothers, the youths under their fathers' eyes. By
some mysterious process of selection they sort themselves into
couples, or, rather, the parents make mutual advances on behalf of
their children and they are betrothed.
{66}
In France
similar restrictions are placed upon lovers, and no one under the age
of twenty-five can contract a legal marriage without the consent of
his or her parents. If three appeals have been made in vain for
parental sanction, there may be an appeal to the law. The proposed
marriage must also be publicly announced beforehand, or it is invalid.
In _Brittany_ there is a strange
|