may drag her by
her hair to his own tent, and it is all right. She must be married by
capture, against her own will, and the love comes afterwards, if at
all.

A Thuringian girl gives her suitor sausage to eat as a sign that he is
rejected. A Spanish maid presents her lover with a pumpkin as her way
of saying "No." In the Russian district of the Ukraine the lady does
the courting, and {70} besieges the man in his own house. Courtesy will
not let him turn her out, so if he does not want her he has to seek other
quarters for himself. On the Isthmus of Darien either man or woman can
take the initiative, so every one gets a good chance all round.

It is not possible, here, to touch upon the elaborate betrothal and
marriage customs of the East.

{71}

CHAPTER XII

_Marriage--Fixing the Day--Preparations--Selecting the Bridesmaids and
their Dresses--The Wedding Gown--The Trousseau--Invitations._

Marriage.

The aim of all true Courtship is marriage, which should take place as
soon as an engagement has lasted long enough to serve its purpose, and
when other circumstances are propitious. When the man's financial
position is sufficiently secured, and the woman is willing to renounce
her freedom for bonds that should be blessed, he asks her to "name the
happy day."

Fixing the Day.

In foreign countries there are many superstitions as to the fitness or
unfitness of days, times, and seasons; but in England May appears to
be the only month supposed to be unlucky for weddings. The reason for
this does not seem clear. The couplet

"If married in Lent
You are sure to repent,"

is an echo from the days when Church discipline was stricter than it
is now, and the time set apart for spiritual sorrow was not considered
suitable for the crowning of earthly happiness. Even in the present
day very few marriages are celebrated during the season of Lent.

There are many people and things to take into account when fixing the
important date. If the bridegroom elect is not his own master a time
must be chosen when he is sure to be at liberty. It was said of the
late Sir Walter Besant {72} that he was so overwhelmed with business
that he hardly had time to be married. The bride's father has also to
be considered, and if any particular church dignitary is required to
perform the ceremony his engagements will have to be taken into
account.

When possible it is well to let a good interval elapse between the
final d