pathos in it, and she who
accepts it must deal tenderly with it, even in her moments of
disillusion. The elderly rake who buys a young wife from entirely
selfish motives will see that he does not lose by the bargain.

Middle-aged Lovers.

No one would wish that the couple to whom love has come when youth has
passed should take their pleasure sadly, but one does look for a
self-restraint and dignity that shall be compatible with maturity.
The woman of forty-five can love perhaps more deeply than the girl of
eighteen. She can experience the full joy of being beloved; but she
only exposes herself to ridicule if she takes the public into her
confidence. It is not only bad taste to see such a one gushing over
her lover, aping the little ways of sweet seventeen and coquetting
like a kitten, telling the curious world, in fact, how rejoiced she is
to be no more "an unappropriated blessing."

Poor soul! It may be that she has put through weary years of heart
loneliness, but surely she might have learnt to hold her joy as sacred
as her sorrow. Let her smarten herself up, by all means. Her happiness
will suit nice gowns and dainty lace. Let her choose warm colours and
handsome fabrics, and shun white muslin and blue ribbons.

The Man.

The middle-aged lover may be as impulsive as a boy, and his friends
will smile, but not with the contempt they would show to the woman. He
is generally very much in earnest, even if his motive be practical
rather than romantic. He should be most careful never to hurt the
woman he has chosen by neglecting her for younger, fresher faces. He
should not suppose that she is too old to care for lover-like
attentions. No woman is ever too old for that. He should {45} not make
her a laughing-stock by talking as if she were "sweet and twenty," or
draw notice to the fact that she has passed her first youth. She will
enjoy being taken care of, being planned for, and being eased of her
burdens; but while showing her all courtesy let him give her credit
for some self-reliance, for she has managed so far to get through life
without him.

{46}

CHAPTER VII

_Proposals: Premeditated, Spontaneous, Practical, or Romantic--No Rule
Possible--Tact in Choosing the Opportunity--Unseemly Haste an Insult
to a Woman--Keen Sense of Humour Dangerous to Sentiment--Some Things to
Avoid--Vaguely Worded Offers--When She may take the Initiative._

Proposals of Marriage.

The modes of making an offer of mar