end, for when love-making once steps in other
pursuits are neglected, if not totally shelved, for the time being.
This transition stage requires great tact. He must not startle her by
too sudden a development. Some women may like to be taken by storm, to
be married by capture as it were, but the average girl likes to have
time to enjoy being wooed and won. She basks in the gradual unfolding
of his love; she rejoices over each new phase of their courtship; she
lingers longingly on the threshold of her great happiness. She is
intoxicated by the sense of her own power; she is touched by the
deference which curbs his ardour.

Kindly Offices of Relations and Friends.

Outsiders can often make or mar a possible marriage. When the third
person undertakes to introduce two people in a case {24} where even a
one-sided attraction is supposed to exist, no remark should be made
about it. The lady friend who tells a girl that a man "is very much
taken with her," strikes a fatal blow at the unconscious grace with
which the girl would otherwise have received him. The blundering
brother who blurts out: "My sister says that girl's awfully gone on
you, old chap!" probably makes his chum fight shy of the girl, or
indulge in a little fun at her expense. It should be remembered that a
nearer acquaintance does not always confirm impressions formed at a
distance.

A sister who will discreetly play the part of Number Three is
invaluable. A brother who will bring the man home to dinner, or
arrange cycling expeditions, is a treasure. The aunt who gives dances
or river parties just when he has his holiday is inestimable. The
uncle who has a fancy for stage managing, and casts the two for the
lovers' parts in a charmingly unconscious fashion, is a relation worth
having. Married friends on either side can afford many extra and
delightful opportunities of meeting. While thus smoothing the path of
love, all obtrusive allusion to the suspected or recognised state of
things should be carefully avoided. It is an unpardonable breach of
etiquette for any one to draw attention to the movements of a couple
by a laugh, a nod, or a wink which, though not intended to reach them,
gives frequent rise to unpleasant situations. Her friends should guard
against anything savouring of a husband-trap; his friends should avoid
any indication that they look upon her as his lawful prey.

There should be no questionable chaff or talking at the possible
lovers. Olde