by a fearful blow to his common
sense)--we repeat--instead of presents of jam our poets too often meet
with a gelid indifference--_jam_ and _gelid_; does the reader see what
we are aiming at?

* * * * *

A FAIRY WISH.

Oh, that the million million million billions of seeds of corn rotting
on the Danube were "corned" into gunpowder, and swallowed by NICHOLAS.
Having no bowels, how could it hurt him?

* * * * *

PLATO'S REPUBLIC PERFECT.

The City's the Model Republic of PLATO,
As like as potato can be to potato,
Save in one point alone; and it would be a pity
If that difference did not distinguish the City.

In PLATO'S Republic, all good things combining,
That serve to the great ends of drinking and dining,
No Poet was suffered his metres to mingle
With the clatter of plates, and the wine glasses' jingle.

But London's good City a poet possesses
Who sings its high deeds and its glory expresses,
And graces its banquets, his brows bound with myrtle,
Sucking up inspiration together with turtle.

That Poet--whose aim is existence to sweeten--
Next day sings the praises of what he has eaten,
Which by wholesale are bought by the rich Corporation
As the fairest account of the jollification.

At eighty-five, Fleet Street, this son of APOLLO
Indites, each November, the Song of the Swallow;
His muse every bookseller's counter encumbers,
But his friends in the City buy up all his numbers.

* * * * *

HOW EUROPE MAY BE SAVED!

A recipe, from a Neapolitan pen, authorized by KING BOMBA, of Naples!

"Take the English people, strip 'em, rob 'em, kick 'em out of England,
making of 'em--even as the Hebrews--dealers in hare-skins and old
clothes! When this is done, take London, and turn it topsy-turvy,
ruinous like Jerusalem! Let the English House of Commons sit by the
waters of the Danube and weep; and let English Bishops sell maccaroni,
and English merchants vend water-melons to the _Lazzaroni_ of Naples!
Then Europe will be safe. When the House of Hanover is placed upon a
cinder-heap of Mount Vesuvius, then may Europe, in the depths of her
tranquillity, sweetly rejoice!"

And the KING OF NAPLES read the foregoing, and said "Let it be forthwith
printed, and let BRITANNIA forthwith prepare herself to become a
Jewess." Only to think--the British Lion a Lion of Judah! The White
Horse o