axe of
Improvement, that judicious woodsman, who spares nothing superfluous.

* * * * *

"REVENONS A NOS MOUTONS."

The French, in a great victory over the Arabs, "have captured 4,000
sheep." What will they do with these 4,000 prisoners of war? Will they
drive them to market, and sell them for what they will fetch, or will
they turn them into _gigots_ and _cotelettes?_ Will they preserve their
fleeces as trophies, and hang them up in the Invalides? What will they
do with the tallow? Will they melt it into candles, and send them as
altar-offerings to the POPE to solicit his blessing on their Algerian
campaigns? These questions are difficult to answer, and in the meantime
the poor sheep, recollecting the deeds of BUGEAUD and PELISSIER, must
tremble in their skins every time they see the steel of the Frenchmen.
For ourselves, we believe the lives of the 4,000 sheep will be spared by
the French, out of their noble anxiety to prove to Europe that warfare
can be carried on in Algeria without butchery.

* * * * *

MUTE ELOQUENCE.

Somebody has brought out a collection of the "_Songs of Scotland without
Words_." In order to render the thing completely agreeable, we would
propose that the songs without words should be set to bagpipes without
sound, and sung by performers without voices.

* * * * *

THE DEMON OF THE CUPBOARD.

[Illustration]

Within the last few months mysterious noises have been repeatedly heard
in the cupboards of HER MAJESTY'S subjects throughout the kingdom. These
have been, in most instances, at first supposed to be occasioned by mice
and rats, as they consisted in scrapings, scratchings, and knockings,
such as are made by those animals. But in many cases wherein the noises
were the most violent, cheese contained in the cupboard was found
untouched; so that it was necessary to seek some other explanations of
the acoustic phenomena.

The circumstances of table rapping obviously suggested that the sounds
were caused by spirits; and several powerful mediums were consulted,
independently, with respect to this point. The answers to all inquiries
obtained through these channels agreed in the fact that the cupboards
were haunted; and also coincided in the further information that the
name of their obstreperous inhabitant was NICHOLAS.

This startling declaration apparently rendered the character of the
autho