act like 'em. Anyways, if beards come in, barbers must go out, in
which case I ask for 'demnification.

"Yours, &c."

"SIBTHORP SUDS."

"The COLONEL--(my parent was a Lincoln voter and barber)--is my
godfather; which happened when the COLONEL used to go, I'm told, with as
clean a face as any in the county."

* * * * *

DOCTOR WISEMAN.

On his departure from Golden Square, the subjoined notice, written in
the DOCTOR'S own hand, was affixed outside his door--"Gone to Rome; will
be back for mass in Westminster Abbey."

* * * * *

THE BRIGHT CITY.

The EARL OF SHAFTESBURY has volunteered an epistle eulogistic of
Manchester. "Thoroughfares are opened"--says the noble lord--"courts and
alleys cleansed--drains and sewers constructed," &c. &c. Nothing,
according to the noble lord, will soon be wanting to Manchester to make
it emphatically the Bright City; nothing but--as _Punch_ opines--a
little public spirit. "The Turk may go hang so that he buys our goods."
"Liberty in its highest sense, is the liberty to buy and sell." "The
worst worldly evil is a bad shilling." A few of these maxims do
certainly still defile the moral atmosphere of Manchester, cleansed as
the air inhaled may be from the reek of cesspools. MR. BRIGHT'S hat,
though covering a large, cool head, is nevertheless not big enough to
extinguish the turban of Turkey. "Great spirits"--says JEAN PAUL--"are
buried under golden mountains." In like manner, sympathy with a noble
cause may be stifled in cotton-bags.

* * * * *

[Illustration:

"All round my neck I vears the shirt collar,
All round the neck for a twelvemonth and a day;
And if any one should ax you the reason vy I vears it;
So, tell 'em 'cause it's now the fashionable vay."]

* * * * *

SOMETHING OUTRAGEOUS.

"MR. PUNCH, SIR,

"What next? Have you read the servile inscription on Marlborough House
Gates?--

"'The public is _respectfully_ informed, that admission is to be
procured,' &c.

"'Respectfully informed,' _Mr. Punch!_ Hity-tity! Well. This is
something! Respectfully! And this is by a body of officials, and stuck
on a house which is the property of a Royal Prince! The brewers and
bakers and candlestick-makers are respectfully informed. Tag, rag, and
bobtail are respectfully informed. The swinish multitude is respectfully
informed b