x
and Deputy Chaffwax, (what on earth _is_ a Deputy Chaffwax???) Clerk of
the Hanaper, and Deputy Clerk of the Hanaper, Ushers, Heralds, Garter
Kings at Arms, Purse-bearers, Marshals, Lord Chancellors, Engrossing
Clerks, Attorney-Generals, stamps, taxes, and other equally necessary
and indispensable persons, places, and things--the making of a Baron is
done for the trifling charge of L420. Thanks to MR. HUME, we are put in
possession of this Hume-orous document. But the most important question
to an Englishman remains unsolved; and MR. BULL requests us to make
inquiries, whether it will cost him this great sum before he can make
his appearance at the Royal table on Christmas Day next, as a Baron of
Beef?

* * * * *

A TALLEYRANDISM.--The worst form of borrower is he who borrows with the
intention of repaying, for you know he intends to borrow again.

* * * * *

VISIT OF THE THAMES AND MEDWAY

TO THE

ROYAL COMMISSIONERS OF THE CITY.

The inhabitants of Parliament Street were lately thrown into a state of
great excitement by the appearance of a lady and gentleman, who came out
of one of the lanes leading from the river, and asked every one whom
they met to show them where the Royal Commissioners were sitting. The
gentleman, who rather surlily informed the too curious crowd that he was
FATHER THAMES, was attired in a quaint and singular garb. "All round his
head" he wore, not merely "a green willow," but a profusion of reeds,
rullies, and osiers, whilst his feet and legs were thickly coated with
mud and sand, which made one of the bystanders (a Common Councilman on
his way to the Commissioners) observe, that "the stranger's lower
extremities were most in need of the _hosiers_." His waist was garnished
by a quantity of bricks, beams, planks, and piles, strung round him
without any regard to order or symmetry, and, by their bulk and weight,
greatly impeding his progress. He carried his well-known urn under his
arm, like an opera hat; but, on passing a window in which RANSOME'S
Patent Filters were exposed for sale, he looked wistfully at them, and
observed to his companion, that he should like to swop the urn against
one. A Kentish farmer (one of a deputation who had been explaining to
the Home Secretary the connection between the Bank Charter and the
disease in the hops) recognised in the lady an old friend named MEDWAY,
who is in the habit of staying on