ompete in a running match. In
the hurdle race the Lieutenant commenced well against the Captain, but
was unable to run him through--having unfortunately slipped in taking
the fifth hurdle. The incident is suggestive of a little parody on the
favourite military song of

"March! March!"

Jump, jump! Captain and Subaltern,
Why my lads, do you not tighten your girdles?
Jump, jump! make a fair start of it;
There goes the Subaltern over the hurdles!
Comrades shall many a day tell of the horrid way--
(E'en the bare thought makes the life-blood to curdle)
How the poor Subaltern--as his luck took a turn--
Pitched on his head ere he reached the fifth hurdle.
Jump, jump, &c. &c.

* * * * *

THE BEST WAY OF MAKING WAY IS TO TAKE IT.

Some persons have such a taking way with them that "if you give them an
inch, they will take an ell." Now we should say the Russians had this
same grasping manner about them, and if the Turks had yielded to them a
single inch, by this time they would have taken the Dardan-elles.

* * * * *

THE GREAT REFORMER OF THE AGE--TO-MORROW.

* * * * *

THE PRINCE, THE PIGS, AND THE PARASITES.

We think we have at last found a key to the flunkeyism of those citizens
who are desirous of getting up an ALBERT Testimonial. The recurrence of
the Smithfield Club Cattle Show has presented the Prince Consort again
before us in the character of a prizeholder by virtue of a wonderful pen
of pigs, which proves His Royal Highness's continued devotion to porcine
development. We all know the effect of a fellow feeling, and we are
satisfied that the "greasy citizens" must entertain a natural sympathy
with those precious feats of princely care which excite so much
admiration in Baker Street. The Aldermanic mind would easily find an
excuse for gratitude, in the fact that PRINCE ALBERT seeks to give
importance to the pig; and they would infer that he who would aggrandise
the ordinary pig would not desire to make little of the London Alderman.
For our own parts, without wishing to draw a nice distinction, we can
appreciate the views of His Royal Highness, and though he may continue
to fatten pigs for many years to come, we should not attribute to him
any desire to see the London Corporation fattening on the spoils it has
so long been allowed to appropriate.

* * *