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[Illustration: A HINT TO THE ELEPHANTINE PROFESSOR AT ASTLEY'S.]

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CHRISTMAS WAITS EXTRAORDINARY.

(_From our own Reporter._)

There are some remarkable additions to the usual Waits this year, which
the papers have uniformly neglected to notice. As Corrector-General of
the Press, it devolves on _Mr. Punch_ of course to supply the omission.
Half a moment's reflection will, he thinks, convince any of his readers
who would be styled "intelligent," that--

There's the EARL OF ABERDEEN Waiting--for the protracted war which will
result most probably from his protracted peace policy.

There are the Rotten Boroughs Waiting--for the expected Reform Bill
which is to put them in good odour.

There are the Inhabitants of London (and twenty miles about it)
Waiting--for the extinction of that truly burning shame, the City
Coal-Tax.

There are the Keepers of the Betting-shops Waiting--to evade the recent
Act which apparently has shut them up.

There are the Women of England Waiting--for a law that will
_effectually_ protect them against brutal assaults.

There are the English Tourists Waiting--for hotels where they may enter
without being let in.

There's many an English Operative Waiting--to find that his strike is in
the end a heavy blow to him.

There's many an English Curate Waiting--to find that his income will
exceed a London footman's.

There are the Readers at the Museum Waiting--for the end of the world,
or that of the catalogue.

There's the Corporation of London Waiting--to be crushed by the
Commission which is now sitting on them.

There's the Emperor of Russia Waiting--for the spring which will enable
him to jump into Turkey.

And finally, there's _Mr. Punch_ himself Waiting--very pleasantly on The
Universe with his Twenty-fifth Volume.

* * * * *

WHAT IS THE WORLD LIKE?--Why, the world is like a stubble-field--in
which the greatest geese generally pick up most of the golden grains.

* * * * *

MISSISSIPPI BREAKING HER BONDS.

Bind the woolly-haired slave, tarred with Nature's own brush,
With base manacles load him; with vile shackles crush,
He has no right to kick off his fetters, not he,
But Bonds didn't ought to encumber the Free!

Let Europe's old monarchies labour and groan
Beneath the hard burden and weight of a Loan!
To be sure, though, Spain _has_ had t