sells
highlows, &c. &c. &c."

2nd. The QUEEN'S glover may announce that "the affection entertained by
the whole nation for the Royal Kids is entirely due to the fact that HER
MAJESTY buys all her gloves of &c. &c."

3rd. The QUEEN'S perfumer may ask conundrumically: "Why is Royalty in
such excellent odour in England? Because all the scents used in the
palace are purchased at &c. &c."

4th. The QUEEN'S hairdresser may--with a disregard to orthography which
is allowable in a perruquier and a punster--hazard the remark "that the
true secret of the grace and beauty which adorn the hair to the throne
is to be found in the fact that HER MAJESTY'S hair owes its
attractiveness to the hand of Nature and the pomade sold only by &c. &c.
&c."

We could multiply instances over and over again. But as our object is to
suggest a new mine of wealth to those literary men of our day who look
to the art of puffing as a mode of obtaining an occasional blow out, we
shall not proceed to forestall them in their labours, and take out of
their mouths one morsel of that bread which, to the utter consternation
of the poet, is now selling at elevenpence the quartern.

* * * * *

AN OLD LAMP AND A NEW ONE.

The scheme of the ARCHBISHOP OF PARIS for instituting a _fete_ under the
name of _Fete des Ecoles_, to promote learning in connexion with faith,
is a happy one. Everybody will agree in the sentiment expressed in his
pastoral, that "Religion and Science are the two lamps which enlighten
the world." And if by religion he means Popery, it may be permitted to
congratulate him that, happily for the human race, one of the lights
which he alludes to has put out the other's burning.

* * * * *

AN IMPROVEMENT.--The Russian army boasts of a PRINCE STIRBEY. We think
it would be an improvement, and only a just compliment to the aggressive
spirit of the Russians, to call him PRINCE DISTURBEY.

* * * * *

PROPHETS IN THE PARLOUR--GYPSIES IN THE KITCHEN.

[Illustration: W]

When SUSAN, maid-of-all-work in the regular and respectable family of
MR. POTTS--small Cityman, with ambition under his waistcoat to be some
day considerably bigger--when the aforesaid illiterate and superstitious
SUSAN, wishing to better herself--(a vanity that is unconsciously shared
with her even by MR. and MRS. POTTS themselves)--gives ready ear to
EGLANTINE PRIGDUCK, gypsey fr