oad through the Park, nice new gravel and no
ills and we mustn't turn out o' the road into the Park no not if our
osses died for it and why not, I'd like to know?

Why acos we're 'bus-drivers and its a buss and the osses is buss osses
and the riders ain't people as keeps their carridges, wich we arnt
haristercratical enuff for the Parks as is public propity and kep up
houter rates and taxes wich who pays them I know well enuff, and keeps
them 'ere parties in the green livries so uncommon snug and pleasant not
to speke o' the crushers. Now wot a city gent as rides reglar with me
says is this 'ere ain't the publick convenience nothink and cruelty to
hanimals wich we drivers is pulled up pretty sharp if we works an 'oss
with a collar-gall, a speedy-cut or anythink like that 'ere and its
forty shillin in no time. I'd a rote this to LORD PALMERSTON wich he
said hanybody was to rite heverythink as was rong to im and e'd see
justice done wich it aint now I know not by a jolly lot but he's out and
so I rites to you instead opin you'll excuse the libberty and speke to
the Guvment leastways SIR WILLIAM MOLESWORTH as is a friend o' the
people wich is well beknown, to ave the Park hopened to public
carridges--that is 'busses, for the cabbies can rite for themselves.

So no more at present from your umbel servant,

JOHN BROAD.
(_Driver No. 3 Ardwick these twelve year and never pulled up
wonst._)

* * * * *

A WASH WANTED BY GOVERNMENT.

Tenders will be received at the Office of the First Lord of the
Treasury, or the Office of the Foreign Secretary, for COSMETICS to
Improve the COMPLEXION of EASTERN AFFAIRS.

By Order of their Lordships,
_Downing Street, 22nd Dec., 1853._ R. E. D. TAPE.

* * * * *

THE GYMNASTICS OF BRIBERY.

The power of lifting a chair depends entirely upon the way in which you
take hold of it: and so it is with a seat in Parliament--perfectly
hopeless to think of picking one up, unless you can command a good
_purchase_.

* * * * *

"WHO'S DAT A-KNOCKING AT DE DOOR?"

ALFRED DE MUSSET'S proverb tells us very positively that "_Il faut
qu'une Porte soit ouverte, ou fermee_". The EMPEROR NICHOLAS seems to be
of the same opinion, and he is now trying with all his might and main,
both on land and water, to have the Porte shut up as quick as he can. We
hope he will only succeed in havi