allipee.
E'en GOG himself looks lively with affright,
And MAGOG scarce his spike-stuck weapon holds;
For CORNEWALL LEWIS sits, prepared to write,
And PATTESON an awful scroll unfolds.

* * *

LAMENT OF LORD MAYOR'S DAY.

AIR.--"_Woodpecker._"

I knew by the smile that derisively curled
On the PATTESON lip, that my downfall was near,
When he said, "I can't see the least use in the world
Of that gew-gaw procession you mount every year."
My half-hearted advocate feebly replied,
About wantonly sapping the customs of yore--
But I said, "If there's peace to be found in Cheapside,
I shan't be disturbing it many times more."

* * *

WHAT DO THE BELLS SAY?

The people want gardens, Says the bells of St. Martin's.
Townsfolk look palely, Says the bells of Old Bailey.
Not if they're rich, Says the bells of Shoreditch.
Then they come out to me, Says the bells of Chelsea.
Or with me take a bed, Says the bells of Hampstead.
But in close London dwellins Says the bells of St. Helen's.
How _do_ they draw breath? Says the bells of St. Faith.
Bless'd if I know. Says the Great Bell of Bow.

* * * * *

PENAL DANCING FOR THE PROTECTION OF WOMEN.

In a quadrille--composed, we think, by the ingenious M. JULLIEN--a
lively and diverting effect is produced by the cracking of a whip, which
forms an accompaniment of the tune which the company are supposed to
dance to.

WILLIAM CURTIS, a tailor, according to the Police Reports, was brought
the other day before the LORD MAYOR, at the Mansion House, for having
cruelly beaten and attempted to murder his wife; who stated on
evidence--which was corroborated by a policeman--that he ripped up her
stays with a penknife, took the bone out of them, and beat her with the
bone till it broke in three pieces; then beat her with her hair-brush,
dragged her out of bed, tried to strangle her, and beat her again with a
large square-cut stick--declaring that if she dared to call out for
assistance he would dance upon her body.

The quadrille above-mentioned supplies a hint in regard to MR. CURTIS'S
notion of a dance. MR. WILLIAM CURTIS is an uneducated man. He has not
been taught how to behave himself to the gentler sex. He wants a little
instruction in deportment, to which dancing should be added, as his
ideas concerning that accomplishment are evidently barbarous. MR. CURTIS
should have been sent