A certain Mare in London must be rather badly
off; for its chief present nourishment is chaff.

* * * * *

[Illustration: SHARP'S THE WORD.

_Nice Old Gent (loquitur)._ "UM! I'LL TAKE SOME HARICOT MUTTON,
AND--ER--HAVE YOU ANY ASPARA--"

_Waiter (like thunder)._ "'ARICO AN' 'GRASS!"]

* * * * *

ST. CECILIA AND ST. HELEN.

Touching the subjoined newspaper advertisement:--

ORGANIST.--A VACANCY IN THE APPOINTMENT of ORGANIST for the parish
of St. Helen, Bishopsgate, London, having been created by the death
of Dr. Bexfield, candidates for the office are requested to forward
their letters of application and testimonials on or before the 23rd
day of November instant, addressed to MR. CHURCHWARDEN RICHARDSON,
2, Great St. Helen's, London, by whom all inquiries as to the duties
and salary will be answered.

_Mr. Punch_ begs to ask MR. CHURCHWARDEN RICHARDSON a question. Would
CECILIA PUNCH be eligible for the vacant situation of organist to St.
Helen's parish? For _Mr. Punch_ has heard that it is the practice of
many vestries to exclude female candidates from competition for the
organist's office. Need CECILIA apply? Has it been, by the parochial
powers,

"Resolved, that female candidates be excluded."

CECILIA would be thankful to be spared the anxiety and trouble of making
an application, in doubt whether or not it has been predestined to be
fruitless. One would think that the church of a female saint would admit
a female musician--or can it be that ST. HELEN would have closed her
doors against her sainted sister, the namesake of _Miss Punch_, herself?

To multiply, not to diminish, the means of honourable maintenance for
women ought to be the object of all Churchwardens and Vestries; as it
certainly is the interest of all rate-payers.

* * * * *

A WHIPPING RECORDER.

MR. SAMUEL WARREN, Recorder of Hull, loves to season his sentences with
plenty of whipcord. This propensity of SAMUEL'S has been significantly
rebuked by LORD PALMERSTON, who has remitted whippings and shortened
terms of imprisonment. We understand that the judicial poet of _The Lily
and the Bee_ will--in self-justification--forthwith produce another
poem, to be called _The Cat and her Tails_.

* * * * *

A DIRTY BUSINESS.

The Magistrates of the City of London can scarcely be expect