No charge.

OCTOBER 11.--Attending SQUASH, who complained that my
client was taking the law into his own hands, and throwing
dead kittens, with insulting inscriptions affixed to their
necks, into his, SQUASH'S, shop, with intent to injure him
in his trade of a sausage maker. To mollify SQUASH,
ordering 3 lbs. of sausages; and N.B., presented same to
my clerk, not having much faith in the defendant's
zoological knowledge.

Paid for sausages. 2 6

NOVEMBER 5.--Attending JIGGER, who insisted on my coming
to the window to see a Guy, which he had prepared in the
likeness of SQUASH, and which he was causing his sons and
apprentices to carry about, with a song containing pointed
satire upon the Houses of Austria and of SQUASH. No charge.

DECEMBER 24.--Being out in the evening, ordering some
spirits for my own Christmas festivity, and accidentally
seeing SQUASH and his wife, instructing them to meet me in
ten minutes in the parlour of the Jolly Snobs, and
fetching JIGGER and his wife to the same place; addressing
the parties on their folly, and insisting on their all
joining in a friendly bowl of Christmas Punch, to which
proposition they ultimately assented: SQUASH, in broken
accents, declaring that, in his heart, he preferred JIGGER
to LORD PALMERSTON for real political knowledge, and
JIGGER avowing that some gentleman, of whom he had read in
the Sunday papers, called HARISTYDUS, was an unjust party
compared to SQUASH. Left them shaking hands, and the women
crying over one another. No charge.

Bowl of Punch 5 0
------

Total Bill of Costs for the year L0 7 6
------
_This is my Bill_,

BOLT UPRIGHT, _Attorney_.

* * * * *

PALMERSTON PERPLEXED.

If the energetic Home Secretary had only mentioned to us--confidentially
of course--that he contemplated inviting everybody who can use a
pen--every goose, in fact, possessed of a quill--to write to him on the
subject of any and every grievance, we should have dissuaded him from
the too adventurous act. The daily,