d so far cheaper, but as to
actual price it's about the same. You're cheated in the City because
ground is so dear, and at the West End because the tradesmen must pay
for those gaudy, gilded, ginshop-looking fronts. But the City men are
sharper, and insist on a better article--_we_ believe anything a
tradesmen tells us. If you will cleanse away the LORD MAYORS and Fleet
Ditches, and a few things of that kind; keep out those PICKFORD'S vans
and other monster abominations, so that one's cab may not be smashed
every time one passes through Temple Bar; widen the thoroughfares, and
prevent people from dining at one o'clock, so that one smells dinner
before one has well finished breakfast--I think that the welfare of the
City would be materially promoted. I may mention, too, that I have seen
some very pretty girls in St. Paul's Churchyard, and not so badly
dressed as you might expect, but the poor things get jostled so
dreadfully by the City fellows, who rush about like JEAMESES on an
errand, that they always look frightened. I think the Police, that make
the cabs go slowly past churches, might be told to keep these fellows at
a decent walk when going near ladies. Take a note of that suggestion for
your Report.

MR. SUFFEET DE PERISTYLE: I am an architect. O, yes. I have taken much
interest in the City; and sometimes, while shaving, I have mentally
sketched out plans for improving it. Will I state any? With pleasure;
and as my principal plan has relation to the Corporation, it is the more
desirable for you to hear it. I am for dealing boldly with the City. Let
us begin at Temple Bar, which I would not remove. Take down the whole of
the houses on both sides of Fleet Street and Ludgate Hill, and clear the
space to the Thames. Embank the Thames. On the left side of Fleet
Street, erect a splendid series of halls, cloisters, and habitations,
reaching from Temple Bar to St. Paul's. Throw King's College, the London
University, Merchant Tailor's, the Blue Coat School, and the
Charterhouse into these, and re-endow them, and pay all expenses by
confiscating the Corporation estates, and, if necessary, the private
property of the Aldermen. Let the right hand side of Fleet Street be a
beautiful meadow, with fountains and statues, to the Thames. Preserve
_Mr. Punch's_, of course, but rebuild it in alabaster, and make it the
feature of the scene. Take down St. Paul's and re-construct it in white
marble, which will wash, and clear away in it