"things solid," if we mistake not, BISHOP OF
OXFORD.

* * * * *

TWO PORTRAITS OF THE CZAR.

In the well-known _Letters from the Baltic_, NICHOLAS is thus drawn in
pen and ink--

"His face is strictly Grecian--forehead and nose is one grand line;
the eyes finely lined, large, open, and blue, with a calmness, a
coldness, a freezing dignity, which can equally quell an
insurrection, daunt an assassin, or paralyse a petitioner: the mouth
regular, teeth fine, chin prominent, with dark moustache and small
whisker; but not a sympathy in his face. His mouth sometimes smiled,
his eyes never."

_Mr. Punch_, having studied the Czar in his works, is disposed to put
forth another sketch; as thus--

His face is strictly all cheek: forehead and nose one grand roundabout
curve; the eyes large, open, round, and expressive as a cannon's mouth;
cannon that can quell an insurrection, or slaughter innocence; the mouth
curved and significant as a scimitar; teeth large and prominent as
chevaux-de-frise; the face altogether a national death-warrant. The
mouth, like scimitar steel, sometimes glistens--the eyes never.

* * * * *

MUTUAL WRONGS.

"We have no Windsor"--says, very mournfully, the EARL OF EGLINGTON--"no
Buckingham Palace, no St. James's, no Kensington, no Hampton Court."

_Mr. Punch_ begs to mingle his tears with the tears of the noble Earl,
_Mr. Punch_ the while lamenting as an Englishman that--"We have no
cockaleekie--no haggis--no singed sheep's-head--no bagpipes!"

* * * * *

GRUMBLING FOR FARMERS.

The late fine weather has enabled us to get the wheat into the ground,
which the previous rains threatened to prevent. Agricultural prospects
thus present a hopeful appearance; but then, by reason of the extent of
land sown, a great many fields must be in a state of seediness.

* * * * *

LADIES' MOUTHS.--An old beau says: "A Lady's mouth never looks so
beautiful as when she is pronouncing the word 'Yes.'"

* * * * *

THE LAST PROCLAMATION.

[Illustration: W]

We, NICHOLAS THE FIRST, Emperor and Autocrat of all the Russias, and
King of all Good Fellows, proclaim:

That we have been insulted by the Turk, whose stony heart we have--on
the bended knees of our Christian spirit--supplicated, but to no
purpose.

We have, as become