it: their regular
hours stupify me--not a fiddle nor a card after eleven!--However, Mr.
Faulkland's gentleman and I keep it up a little in private
parties;--I'll introduce you there, Thomas--you'll like him much.

THOMAS
Sure I know Mr. Du-Peigne--you know his master is to marry Madam Julia.

FAG
I had forgot.--But, Thomas, you must polish a little--indeed you
must.--Here now--this wig!--What the devil do you do with a wig,
Thomas?--None of the London whips of any degree of _ton_ wear wigs now.

THOMAS
More's the pity! more's the pity! I say.--Odd's life! when I heard how
the lawyers and doctors had took to their own hair, I thought how
'twould go next:--odd rabbit it! when the fashion had got foot on the
bar, I guessed 'twould mount to the box!--but 'tis all out of
character, believe me, Mr. Fag: and look'ee, I'll never gi' up
mine--the lawyers and doctors may do as they will.

FAG
Well, Thomas, we'll not quarrel about that.

THOMAS
Why, bless you, the gentlemen of the professions ben't all of a
mind--for in our village now, thoff Jack Gauge, the exciseman, has
ta'en to his carrots, there's little Dick the farrier swears he'll
never forsake his bob, though all the college should appear with their
own heads!

FAG
Indeed! well said, Dick!--But hold--mark! mark! Thomas.

THOMAS
Zooks! 'tis the captain.--Is that the Lady with him?

FAG
No, no, that is Madam Lucy, my master's mistress's maid. They lodge at
that house--but I must after him to tell him the news.

THOMAS
Odd! he's giving her money!--Well, Mr. Fag----

FAG
Good-bye, Thomas. I have an appointment in Gyde's porch this evening at
eight; meet me there, and we'll make a little party.

[Exeunt severally.]

* * * * * * *

Scene II.--A Dressing-room in Mrs. MALAPROP's Lodgings.
[LYDIA sitting on a sofa, with a book in her hand. Lucy, as just
returned from a message.]

LUCY
Indeed, ma'am, I traversed half the town in search of it: I don't
believe there's a circulating library in Bath I ha'n't been at.

LYDIA
And could not you get _The Reward of Constancy_?

LUCY
No, indeed, ma'am.

LYDIA
Nor _The Fatal Connexion_?

LUCY
No, indeed, ma'am.

LYDIA
Nor _The Mistakes of the Heart_?

LUCY
Ma'am, as ill luck would have it, Mr. Bull said Miss Sukey Saunter had
just fetched it away.

LYDIA
Heigh-ho!--Did you inquire for _The Delicate Distress_?

LUCY
Or, _The Memoirs of Lady Woodford_? Yes, indeed, ma'am. I asked every
where for