en you the greatest provocation in the world.
Can a man commit a more heinous offence against another than to fall in
love with the same woman? Oh, by my soul! it is the most unpardonable
breach of friendship.

ACRES
Breach of friendship! ay, ay; but I have no acquaintance with this man.
I never saw him in my life.

Sir LUCIUS
That's no argument at all--he has the less right then to take such a
liberty.

ACRES
Gad, that's true--I grow full of anger, Sir Lucius!--I fire apace! Odds
hilts and blades! I find a man may have a deal of valour in him, and
not know it! But couldn't I contrive to have a little right of my side?

Sir LUCIUS
What the devil signifies right, when your honour is concerned? Do you
think Achilles, or my little Alexander the Great, ever inquired where
the right lay? No, by my soul, they drew their broad-swords, and left
the lazy sons of peace to settle the justice of it.

ACRES
Your words are a grenadier's march to my heart! I believe courage must
be catching! I certainly do feel a kind of valour rising as it were--a
kind of courage, as I may say.--Odds flints, pans, and triggers! I'll
challenge him directly.

Sir LUCIUS
Ah, my little friend, if I had Blunderbuss Hall here, I could show you
a range of ancestry, in the O'Trigger line, that would furnish the new
room; every one of whom had killed his man!--For though the
mansion-house and dirty acres have slipped through my fingers, I thank
heaven our honour and the family-pictures are as fresh as ever.

ACRES
O, Sir Lucius! I have had ancestors too!--every man of 'em colonel or
captain in the militia!--Odds balls and barrels! say no more--I'm
braced for it. The thunder of your words has soured the milk of human
kindness in my breast;--Zounds! as the man in the play says, _I could
do such deeds!_

Sir LUCIUS
Come, come, there must be no passion at all in the case--these things
should always be done civilly.

ACRES
I must be in a passion, Sir Lucius--I must be in a rage.--Dear Sir
Lucius, let me be in a rage, if you love me. Come, here's pen and
paper.--[Sits down to write.] I would the ink were red!--Indite, I say,
indite!--How shall I begin? Odds bullets and blades! I'll write a good
bold hand, however.

Sir LUCIUS
Pray compose yourself.

ACRES
Come--now, shall I begin with an oath? Do, Sir Lucius, let me begin
with a damme.

Sir LUCIUS
Pho! pho! do the thing decently, and like a Christian. Begin now--_Sir
----_

ACRES
That'