t do you charge me with now?

Mrs. MALAPROP
Why, thou unblushing rebel--didn't you tell this gentleman to his face
that you loved another better?--didn't you say you never would be his?

LYDIA
No, madam--I did not.

Mrs. MALAPROP
Good heavens! what assurance!--Lydia, Lydia, you ought to know that
lying don't become a young woman!--Didn't you boast that Beverley, that
stroller Beverley, possessed your heart?--Tell me that, I say.

LYDIA
'Tis true, ma'am, and none but Beverley----

Mrs. MALAPROP
Hold!--hold, Assurance!--you shall not be so rude.

ABSOLUTE
Nay, pray, Mrs. Malaprop, don't stop the young lady's speech: she's
very welcome to talk thus--it does not hurt me in the least, I assure
you.

Mrs. MALAPROP
You are too good, captain--too amiably patient--but come with me,
miss.--Let us see you again soon, captain--remember what we have fixed.

ABSOLUTE
I shall, ma'am.

Mrs. MALAPROP
Come, take a graceful leave of the gentleman.

LYDIA
May every blessing wait on my Beverley, my loved Bev----

Mrs. MALAPROP
Hussy! I'll choke the word in your throat!--come along--come along.

[Exeunt severally; CAPTAIN ABSOLUTE kissing his hand to LYDIA--Mrs.
MALAPROP stopping her from speaking.]

* * * * * * *

Scene IV--ACRES' Lodgings.
[ACRES, as just dressed, and DAVID.]

ACRES
Indeed, David--do you think I become it so?

DAVID
You are quite another creature, believe me, master, by the mass! an'
we've any luck we shall see the Devon mon kerony in all the print-shops
in Bath!

ACRES
Dress does make a difference, David.

DAVID
'Tis all in all, I think.--Difference! why, an' you were to go now to
Clod-Hall, I am certain the old lady wouldn't know you: Master Butler
wouldn't believe his own eyes, and Mrs. Pickle would cry, Lard presarve
me! our dairy-maid would come giggling to the door, and I warrant Dolly
Tester, your honour's favourite, would blush like my waistcoat.--Oons!
I'll hold a gallon, there ain't a dog in the house but would bark, and
I question whether Phillis would wag a hair of her tail!

ACRES
Ay, David, there's nothing like polishing.

DAVID
So I says of your honour's boots; but the boy never heeds me!

ACRES
But, David, has Mr. De-la-grace been here? I must rub up my balancing,
and chasing, and boring.

DAVID
I'll call again, sir.

ACRES
Do--and see if there are any letters for me at the post-office.

DAVID
I will.--By the mass, I can't help looking at your head!--if I h