, my dear Julia. I'm sure you are
in haste to send to Faulkland.--There--through my room you'll find
another staircase.

JULIA
Adieu! [Embraces LYDIA, and exit.]

LYDIA
Here, my dear Lucy, hide these books. Quick, quick!--Fling _Peregrine
Pickle_ under the toilet--throw _Roderick Random_ into the closet--put
_The Innocent Adultery_ into _The Whole Duty of Man_--thrust _Lord
Aimworth_ under the sofa--cram _Ovid_ behind the bolster--there--put
_The Man of Feeling_ into your pocket--so, so--now lay _Mrs. Chapone_
in sight, and leave _Fordyce's Sermons_ open on the table.

LUCY
O burn it, ma'am! the hair-dresser has torn away as far as _Proper
Pride_.

LYDIA
Never mind--open at _Sobriety_.--Fling me _Lord Chesterfields
Letters_.--Now for 'em.

[Exit LUCY.]

[Enter Mrs. MALAPROP, and Sir ANTHONY ABSOLUTE.]

Mrs. MALAPROP
There, Sir Anthony, there sits the deliberate simpleton who wants to
disgrace her family, and lavish herself on a fellow not worth a
shilling.

LYDIA
Madam, I thought you once----

Mrs. MALAPROP
You thought, miss! I don't know any business you have to think at
all--thought does not become a young woman. But the point we would
request of you is, that you will promise to forget this fellow--to
illiterate him, I say, quite from your memory.

LYDIA
Ah, madam! our memories are independent of our wills. It is not so easy
to forget.

Mrs. MALAPROP
But I say it is, miss; there is nothing on earth so easy as to forget,
if a person chooses to set about it. I'm sure I have as much forgot
your poor dear uncle as if he had never existed--and I thought it my
duty so to do; and let me tell you, Lydia, these violent memories don't
become a young woman.

Sir ANTHONY
Why sure she won't pretend to remember what she's ordered not!--ay,
this comes of her reading!

LYDIA
What crime, madam, have I committed, to be treated thus?

Mrs. MALAPROP
Now don't attempt to extirpate yourself from the matter; you know I
have proof controvertible of it.--But tell me, will you promise to do
as you're bid? Will you take a husband of your friends' choosing?

LYDIA
Madam, I must tell you plainly, that had I no preferment for any one
else, the choice you have made would be my aversion.

Mrs. MALAPROP
What business have you, miss, with preference and aversion? They don't
become a young woman; and you ought to know, that as both always wear
off, 'tis safest in matrimony to begin with a little aversion. I am
sure I