OLUTE
Then, sir, I must tell you plainly that my inclinations are fixed on
another--my heart is engaged to an angel.

Sir ANTHONY
Then pray let it send an excuse. It is very sorry--but business
prevents its waiting on her.

ABSOLUTE
But my vows are pledged to her.

Sir ANTHONY
Let her foreclose, Jack; let her foreclose; they are not worth
redeeming; besides, you have the angel's vows in exchange, I suppose;
so there can be no loss there.

ABSOLUTE
You must excuse me, sir, if I tell you, once for all, that in this
point I cannot obey you.

Sir ANTHONY
Hark'ee, Jack;--I have heard you for some time with patience--I have
been cool--quite cool; but take care--you know I am compliance
itself--when I am not thwarted;--no one more easily led--when I have my
own way;--but don't put me in a frenzy.

ABSOLUTE
Sir, I must repeat it--in this I cannot obey you.

Sir ANTHONY
Now damn me! if ever I call you Jack again while I live!

ABSOLUTE
Nay, sir, but hear me.

Sir ANTHONY
Sir, I won't hear a word--not a word! not one word! so give me your
promise by a nod--and I'll tell you what, Jack--I mean, you dog--if you
don't, by----

ABSOLUTE
What, sir, promise to link myself to some mass of ugliness! to----

Sir ANTHONY
Zounds! sirrah! the lady shall be as ugly as I choose: she shall have a
hump on each shoulder; she shall be as crooked as the crescent; her one
eye shall roll like the bull's in Cox's Museum; she shall have a skin
like a mummy, and the beard of a Jew--she shall be all this,
sirrah!--yet I will make you ogle her all day, and sit up all night to
write sonnets on her beauty.

ABSOLUTE
This is reason and moderation indeed!

Sir ANTHONY
None of your sneering, puppy! no grinning, jackanapes!

ABSOLUTE
Indeed, sir, I never was in a worse humour for mirth in my life.

Sir ANTHONY
'Tis false, sir, I know you are laughing in your sleeve; I know you'll
grin when I am gone, sirrah!

ABSOLUTE
Sir, I hope I know my duty better.

Sir ANTHONY
None of your passion, sir! none of your violence, if you please!--It
won't do with me, I promise you.

ABSOLUTE
Indeed, sir, I never was cooler in my life.

Sir ANTHONY
'Tis a confounded lie!--I know you are in a passion in your heart; I
know you are, you hypocritical young dog! but it won't do.

ABSOLUTE
Nay, sir, upon my word----

Sir ANTHONY
So you will fly out! can't you be cool like me? What the devil good can
passion do?--Passion is of no service, y