to the best method of dressing a beefsteak. They referred the matter to
a comedian, who, having an eye to the _shop_, said he preferred
Shakspeare's recipe to either of theirs, "Shakspeare's recipe!" they
both exclaimed. "Aye, Shakspeare's recipe:

'If when 'twere done, 'twere well done, then 'twere well,
It were done quickly.'"

A REPROOF.

MR. KING and Mr. Lewis walking together in Birmingham, a chimney sweeper
and his boy passed them. The lad stared at them, exclaiming, "They be
players!" "Hush! you dog," says the old sweep, "you don't know what you
may come to yourself yet."

A REASONABLE BILL.

AN undertaker waited on a gentleman, with the bill for the burial of his
wife, amounting to 67_l._ "That's a vast sum," said the widower, "for
laying a silent female horizontally; you must have made some mistake!"
"Not in the least," answered the coffin-monger, "handsome hearse--three
coaches and six, well-dressed mutes, handsome pall--nobody, your honor,
could do it for less." The gentleman rejoined: "It is a large sum, Mr.
Crape; but as I am satisfied the poor woman would have given twice as
much to bury me, I must not be behind her in an act of kindness; there
is a check for the amount."

A PARTNERSHIP.

THE Marquis della Scallas, an Italian nobleman, giving a grand
entertainment, his major domo informed him that there was a fisherman
below with a remarkably fine fish, but who demanded for it a very
uncommon price--he won't take any money, but insists on a hundred
strokes of the strappado on his bare shoulders. The marquis surprised,
ordered him in, when he persisted in his demand. To humor him the
marquis complied, telling his groom not to lay on too hard. When he had
received the fiftieth lash, he cried, "Hold! I have got a partner, to
whom I have engaged that he should have half of whatever I was to
receive for my fish--your lordship's porter, who would admit me only on
that condition." It is almost unnecessary to add, that the porter had
his share well paid, and that the fisherman got the full value for his
prize.

LIFE INSURANCE.

JAMES II., when Duke of York, found his brother, King Charles, in
Hyde-park, unattended, at what was considered a perilous time. The duke
expressed his surprise that his majesty should venture alone in so
public a place. "James," said the king, "take care of yourself; no man
in England will kill me to make you king."

AN IRISH NO