resolved not to indulge the king, _for fear of a dangerous
precedent_. It was Lord Chesterfield's business to present the grant of
the office for the king's signature. Not to incense his majesty, by
asking him abruptly, he, with accents of great humility, begged to know
with whose name his majesty would be pleased to have the blanks filled
up? "_With the devil's!_" replied the king, in a paroxysm of rage. "And
shall the instrument," said the earl, coolly, "run as usual--_to our
trusty and well-beloved cousin and counsellor?_"

AN HIBERNIAN CAPTURE.

LIEUTENANT CONNOLLY, an Irishman, in the service of the United States,
during the American war, having himself taken three Hessians prisoners,
and being asked by the general, how he took them, he answered, "_I
surrounded them._"

A BON BOUCHE.

AN Irish counsellor, author of one of the numerous pamphlets which
emanated from the press on the subject of the union, meeting a brother
barrister, asked him if he had seen his publication. The other answered,
that he had, that very day, been dipping into part of it, and was
delighted with its contents. Quite elated, the author asked his friend
what part of the contents pleased him so much. "It was," answered the
other, "a _mince pie_ which I got from the pastry cook's, wrapped up in
half a sheet of your work."

CAN'T BE WORSE.

A VERY plain man was acting the character of Mithridates, in a French
theatre, when Monima said to him, "My lord, you change countenance;" a
young fellow in the pit, cried, "For heaven's sake, let him."

VIRTUE CHEAP.

A STONE mason was employed to engrave the following epitaph on a
tradesman's wife: "A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband." The
stone, however, being narrow, he contracted the sentence in the
following manner: "A virtuous woman is 5_s._ to her husband."

THOROUGH WORK.

A BRICKLAYER fell through the rafters of an unfinished house, and nearly
killed himself; a bystander declared that he ought to be employed, as he
went smartly through his work.

NOT TO BE DONE BROWN.

DR. BROWN courted a lady for many years unsuccessfully; during which
time, he had always accustomed himself to propose her health, whenever
he was called upon for a lady. But being observed, one evening, to omit
it, a gentleman reminded him that he had forgotten to toast his favorite
lady. "Why, indeed," said the doctor, "I find it all in vain; I have
toasted her