ou cannot play upon me_."

CAUTION TO GAMESTERS.

A GERMAN baron at a gaming house, being detected in an _odd trick_, one
of the players fairly threw him out of the one pair of stairs window. On
this outrage he took the advice of Foote, who told him never to play _so
high again_.

AT THE BAR.

A CRIMINAL being asked, in the usual form, what he had to say why
judgment of death should not be passed against him, answered, "Why, I
think there has been quite enough said about it already--if you please
we'll drop the subject."

HOCK.

A PEDANTIC fellow called for a bottle of hock at a tavern, which the
waiter, not hearing distinctly, asked him to repeat. "A bottle of
hock--hic, haec, hoc," replied the visitor. After sitting, however, a
long time, and no wine appearing, he ventured to ring again, and enquire
into the cause of delay. "Did I not order some hock, sir? Why is it not
brought in?" "Because," answered the waiter, who had been taught Latin
grammar, "you afterwards _declined_ it."

DORIC WIT.

A PERSON asking another, while viewing the front of Covent-garden
theatre, of what order the pillars at the entrance were, received the
answer, "Why, sir, I am not very conversant in the orders of
architecture; but from their being at the entrance of the house, I take
it for granted, it must be the Dor-ic."

FAMILY LIKENESS.

A YANKEE, speaking of his children, said he had seven sons, none of whom
looked alike but Jonathan, and Jonathan did look just alike.

ACTUAL EXPERIMENT.

"LA me! good old neighbor," cried Mrs. Popps, "what are you going to do
with that great ugly crow?" "Why, you see, we hear as how they live a
hundred years, so husband and I got one to try."

A TREMENDOUS THREAT.

A MAN being convicted of bigamy, at the Wexford assizes, the judge, in
pronouncing sentence, thus addressed the prisoner: "Yours is a most
atrocious case, and I am sorry that the greatest punishment which the
law allows me to inflict, is, that you be transported to parts beyond
the seas, for seven years; but if I had my will, you should not escape
thus easily; I would sentence you to _reside in the same house with both
your wives, for the term of your natural life_."

INQUISITIVE.

A SMART old Yankee lady, being called into court as a witness, grew
impatient at the questions put to her, and told the judge she would quit
the stand, for he was "raly one of the mos