replied; "I have a great many trees, and I dare say I
have that one. I will ask my gardener."

EXPLICIT.

IN an Irish provincial journal there is an advertisement running thus:--

"Wanted--a handy laborer, who can plow a married man and a Protestant,
with a son or daughter."

BAD COUGH.

A FRIEND of ours was traveling lately, while afflicted with a very bad
cough. He annoyed his fellow travelers greatly, till finally one of them
remarked in a tone of displeasure--

"Sir, that is a very bad cough of yours."

"True, Sir," replied our friend, "but you will excuse me--it's the best
I've got."

JUSTICE.

A WORKMAN, who was mounted on a high scaffold to repair a town clock,
fell from his elevated station, upon a man who was passing. The workman
escaped unhurt, but the man upon whom he fell, died. The brother of the
deceased accused the workman of murder, had him arrested, and brought to
trial. He pursued him with the utmost malignity, and would not admit a
word in his defence. At length the judge, provoked at his unfounded
hostility, gave the following judgment:

"Let the accused stand in the same spot whereon the dead man stood, and
let the brother mount the scaffold, to the workman's old place and fall
upon him. Thus will justice be satisfied."

The brother withdrew his suit.

POSTHUMOUS.

AN Irish student was once asked what was meant by posthumous works.
"They are such works," says the Paddy, "as a man writes after he is
dead."

AN INSTANCE OF REMARKABLE COOLNESS.

KNICKERBOCKER Magazine picks up a good many good things. In the December
number we find a story which runs thus:--"Judge B., of New Haven, is a
talented lawyer and a great wag. He has a son, Sam, a graceless wight,
witty, and, like his father fond of mint juleps and other palatable
"fluids." The father and son were on a visit to Niagara Falls. Each was
anxious to "take a nip," but (one for example, and the other in dread of
hurting the old man's feelings) equally unwilling to drink in the
presence of the other. "Sam," said the Judge, "I'll take a short
walk--be back shortly." "All right," replied Sam, and after seeing the
old gentleman safely around the corner, he walked out quickly, and
ordered a julep at a bar-room. While _in concocto_, the Judge entered,
and (Sam just then being back of a newspaper, and consequently viewing,
though viewless,) ordered a julep. The second was compounded, and the
Judg