d as a
coal of fire, she set it down, and turned to her mistress and drawing
herself up said:

"Madam, I strikes!"

"Strikes! why, what is the matter, Betty?"

"Cause, ma'am, I can't give you hash every day and forever--_me jaws is
all broke down, and me teeth is all wore out, chawing it up for ye's!_"

BAD STATE.

A SCHOOLMASTER in a neighboring town, wishing to discover the talents of
his scholars for geography, asked one of the youngest of them, what
State he lived in? To which the boy replied, "A state of sin and
misery."

PRESENCE OF MIND.

A POOR fellow, in Scotland, creeping through the hedge of an orchard,
with an intention to rob it, was seen by the owner, who called out to
him, "Sawney, hoot, hoot, man, where are you ganging?" "Back agen," says
Sawney.

EXTRAVAGANCE.

AN Irish "gintleman" had occasion to visit the South some time since.
When he returned, he remarked to a friend that the Southern people were
very extravagant. Upon being asked why so, he remarked, that where he
stayed they had a _candlestick_ worth eleven hundred dollars.

"Why, how in the world could it cost that much?" inquired a friend.

"Och, be gorry, it was nuthin' mor'n a big nager fellow holdin a torch
for us to eat by."

SOMEWHERE.

A LADY who gave herself great airs of importance, on being introduced to
a gentleman for the first time, said, with much cool indifference, "I
think, Sir, I have seen you somewhere." "Very likely you may," replied
the gentleman, with equal sang froid, "as I have been there very often."

GOOD SHOT.

A PHYSICIAN, who lived in London, visited a lady who resided in Chelsea.
After continuing his visits for some time, the lady expressed an
apprehension that it might be inconvenient for him to come so far on her
account. "Oh! by no means," replied the doctor; "I have another patient
in the neighborhood, and I always set out hoping to kill two birds with
one stone."

ORIENTAL WIT.

A YOUNG man, going on a journey, intrusted a hundred deenars to an old
man. When he came back, the old man denied having had any money
deposited with him, and he was had up before the Khazee. "Where were
you, young man, when you delivered this money?" "Under a tree." "Take my
seal and summon that tree," said the judge. "Go, young man, and tell the
tree to come hither, and the tree will obey you when you show it my
seal." The young man went in wonder. After he had been