may permit me to
descend a chimney in Switzerland."

MRS. MUNCHAUSEN.

A TRAVELED London lady gives the following incident, among others, to a
circle of admiring friends, on her return from America: "I was a dinin'
haboard a first-class steamboat on the Hoeigho river. The gentleman next
me, on my right, was a Southerner, and the gentleman on my left was a
Northerner. Well, they gets into a kind of discussion on the habbolition
question, when some 'igh words hariz. 'Please to retract, Sir,' said the
Southerner. 'Won't do it,' said the Northerner. 'Pray, ma'am,' said the
Southerner, 'will you 'ave the goodness to lean back in your chair?'
'With the greatest pleasure,' said I, not knowin' what was a comin'.
When what does my gentleman do but whips out an 'oss pistil as long as
my harm, and shoots my left 'and neighbor dead! But that wasn't hall!
for the bullet, comin' out of the left temple, wounded a lady in the
side. She huttered an 'orrifick scream. 'Pon my word, ma'am,' said the
Southerner, 'you needn't make so much noise about it, for I did it by a
mistake.'" "And was justice done the murderer?" asked a horrified
listener. "Hinstantly, dear madam," answered Miss L----. "The cabin
passengers set right to work, and lynched him. They 'ung 'im in the lamp
chains right hover the dinin' table, and then finished the dessert. But
for my part, it quite spoiled my happetite."

OLD BABES.

A HIBERNIAN, seeing an old man and woman in the stocks, said that they
put him in mind of "the babes in the wood."

A SELL.

THE river _Monitor_ tells the following story:

A countryman (farmer) went into a store in Boston, the other day, and
told the keeper that a neighbor of his had entrusted him some money to
expend to the best advantage, and he meant to do it where he would be
the best treated. He had been used very ill by the traders in Boston,
and he would not part with his neighbor's money until he had found a man
who would treat him about right. With the utmost suavity the trader
says:

"I think I can treat you to your liking; how do you want to be treated?"

"Well," said the farmer, with a leer in his eye, "in the first place, I
want a glass of toddy," which was forthcoming. "Now I will have a nice
cigar," says the countryman. It was promptly handed him, leisurely
lighted, and then throwing himself back with his feet as high as his
head, he commenced puffing away like a Spaniard.

"Now what do you